碎石祭坛前的祈祷 Prayer to a Crumbling Shrine

作者： Rayla Heide

霖的大脚趾踢到了树根上绊了一下，差点失去平衡摔倒。前方几步远的地方，佩里娅回过头来。

Rin stubbed his toe on a root and stumbled, catching himself before he lost his balance. A few paces in front of him, his great aunt looked back.

“需要我这把老骨头慢点走等等你吗？哈！”她笑着说。

“Need my old bones to slow down for you? Ho ha!” she chuckled.

“不用。”他盯着自己的双脚说。老姑妈佩里娅头发雪白，老得直不起腰，但她还是比霖高出几寸。他希望他能像自己坏透的哥哥那样高大——他最好比他们两个都高出一大截。

“No,” he murmured to his shoes. His great aunt Peria was snow-haired and stooped with age, though she was still a few inches taller than Rin. He wished he could be as tall as his horrible brother—he would have towered over both of them if he was there.

霖从来没来过树林这么深的地方。松树之间更加紧密，正午的阳光只能在树影之间留下点点光斑。

Rin had never been in this part of the woods before. The pine trees grew closer together, so much that the light of the noonday sun had diminished to a glimmer amongst the shadows.

佩里娅停在了前面。一开始，他以为她面前是一块长满苔藓的巨石，但当他走近以后，看到的是一尊被时间腐坏了的石像。霖的手在兜里盘着小石子。

Aunt Peria stopped ahead. At first, he thought she stood in front of a mossy boulder, but as he caught up he saw the remains of a stone figure, eroded by time. Rin fiddled with the rocks in his pocket.

“啊哈！你知道这是谁吗？”佩里娅问。

“Aha! Do you know who this is?” asked Aunt Peria.

“呃，一位城里的老贵族？”霖回答说。

“Uh, some old noble from the city?” said Rin.

“错！”佩里娅开心地说，“许多人都以为她只是阴影和神话。这个人被称为‘蒙面者’。”

“Oh no!” said Aunt Peria cheerfully. “To many, she was no more than shadow and myth. A figure known as the Veiled One.”

佩里娅举起提灯凑近了雕像。它的左臂从肩膀处断掉了，但右手平摊着，像是在邀请他们走上前。在她头上，曾经肯定是一副精致的头纱，现在则被藤条遮蔽。她双肩凸起一对覆有羽毛的残肢，看上去破败凋敝。她的一部分面庞被刻意捣毁了，霖见状不禁打了一个冷战。她剩下的半张脸也并不优美——一只眼里满是污泥，表情充满厌恶，仿佛嘴里含着一口酸败的牛奶。

Aunt Peria lifted her lantern up toward the figure. The statue’s left arm was missing from the shoulder, but her right palm was open, as if inviting them forward. Upon her head was what must have once been a delicate stone shroud, now coated in vines. Feathered stubs rose from her shoulders, broken and weathered. Rin could see that part of her face had crumbled garishly, and he shivered. The unbroken half of her face was not much better—her remaining eye was marked with stains, and her expression was spiteful, as if she was about to spit out sour milk.

“不喜欢她吗？”佩里娅打趣地说，“不止你这么想。她并不是最受爱戴的。但她对复仇了如指掌。”

“Don’t like her?” Aunt Peria said, amused. “You are not the only one. She is not the most beloved. But she knows all about revenge.”

霖瞪大了双眼。他以为自己已经够小心了。

Rin’s eyes widened. He thought he’d been so careful.

“对的，对的，我听到你兜里的石子哗啦哗啦响了，”佩里娅说，“我知道你正盘算着要找你哥哥报复。但他不是故意伤到你的，你心里有数。”

“Yes, yes, I heard the rocks clacking around your pocket,” said Aunt Peria. “I know you’re planning to get back at your brother. He didn’t mean to hurt you, you know.”

“他用斧子的背面砸我的眼睛！”霖哭喊着说，“你说他是不是故意的？难道他不该受教训吗？”

“He hit me in the eye with the blunt of his axe!” Rin cried. “What do you think he meant to do? Shouldn’t he be the one who gets a lesson?”

“他是在教你劈柴该劈哪。你很清楚，他永远都不会故意伤害你的。”佩里娅说。

“He was showing you where to chop wood. You know he would never hurt you on purpose,” said Aunt Peria.

“他也应该被打个黑眼圈！”

“He deserves his own black eye!”

“如果你打了他，你觉得他会学到什么教训，嗯？”

“And if you gave him one, what lesson do you think he would learn from that, hmm?”

霖知道佩里娅不会喜欢他的答案，所以他默不作声。

Rin did not think Aunt Peria would much like his response, so he stayed silent.

“不说话？那就听个故事吧，”佩里娅说道，“喏，好好听着！”

“No answer? A story, then,” said Aunt Peria. “Now, listen!”

霖在雕像面前坐好。他叹了一口气，把脑袋斜靠在手掌上。

Rin sat himself down in front of the statue. With a sigh, he leaned his head against his hand.

“很久以前，有一片深邃、黑暗的树林，林中的树木茂密至极，甚至看不到天空和天上的星星，蒙面者就生活在那里，远离任何城镇乡村。虽然很少有人与她交谈，但人们都相信她比曙光还要古老，比大地上任何人都更机敏睿智。要是人们有了调解不了的纠纷，就会找她要个说法。他们寻求智慧、宽恕——偶尔也会换回惩罚。但他们的造访全都谨小慎微，因为人们知道，她给的教训可能会十分严重。

“Long ago, in the deepest, darkest woods, where the trees grew together so tightly no sign of the sky or stars was visible, the Veiled One lived, far away from any settlement. Though few spoke with her, it was believed that she was older than dawn, sharper and wiser than any in the land. Those with disputes they could not solve themselves would come to her for final judgment, to seek wisdom, absolution—and occasionally, punishment. But they did so with caution, for it was also known that her lessons could be severe.“有一天，一位牧师带着他的学徒进入了这片树林寻找蒙面者。因为这个学徒愤怒之下用香炉打了牧师，犯下了对长者不敬的罪过。香火在牧师的脸上留下了难看的烧伤。学徒知道他犯了错，想要悔改。“One day, a Cleric and his Pupil entered the woods to find the Veiled One, for the Pupil had erred. The Pupil had acted in anger against his elder, striking him with a censer. Smouldering incense had scarred the Cleric’s face with a grotesque burn. The Pupil knew he done wrong and wanted to repent.“师徒二人走了一天一夜，然后找到了蒙面者。“The two had journeyed a day and a night before they found the Veiled One.“他们进入了一个点着许多蜡烛的山洞。洞顶滴水，洞壁上摆着古怪的药剂。空气中漂浮着坟土和苔藓的味道。地面上散落着数十根如渡鸦般黝黑的羽毛。“They entered a cavern illuminated by candles. Water dripped from the ceiling, and strange potions lined the walls. It stank of gravesoil and moss. Dozens of raven-black feathers littered the floor.“一个人影悄无声息地从暗处出来见他们——是蒙面者。一条黑色的头巾把她的面容遮住了大半，但她怪异的双眸却透过面纱闪着紫光。一双赤脚踩在冰冷的岩石地面上。学徒讲述了自己的故事，她自始至终都在凝视着他。“A figure silently emerged from the shadows to meet them—the Veiled One. A black shroud hid most of her features from sight, but her eerily violet eyes shone through. Her feet were bare on the cold stone floor. As the Pupil told his tale, she gazed at him with an unbroken stare.“‘看来你的行动并非意外，’蒙面者最后说道。虽然很少有人听到她说话，但这声音像丛生的荆棘一样尖厉。‘你的目的很明确。然而，如今你因为自己伤害了师长而感到痛苦。’“‘I see that your actions were no accident,’ spoke the Veiled One at last. Her voice, though rarely heard, was barbed like a thornbush. ‘You acted with purpose and certainty. And yet, now you feel much pain at having hurt your master.’“‘是的，我希望能够弥补过错，涤清我的罪孽。’他说。“‘Aye, I wish to atone for my sins so that I may rid myself of this guilt,’ he said.“‘罪孽可以让一个真挚谦卑的心灵学到许多东西。你为什么袭击你的老师？’她问。“‘Guilt can teach many things to a heart humbled by intent. Why did you strike your master?’ she asked.“‘那是愤怒之举。我错了。’学徒说。“‘It was an act of anger. I was wrong,’ said the Pupil.“‘或许吧。是什么令你愤怒？’蒙面者问。“‘Perhaps. What caused your anger?’ asked the Veiled One.“学徒看向牧师，随后立刻低下头。“The Pupil looked to his Cleric, and cast his eyes down.“‘我愚不可教，我想要阻止他对另一位学生的教训。’学徒说道。“‘In my foolishness, I sought to end his lesson to another student,’ said the Pupil.“‘是什么样的教训？’“‘And what was that lesson?’“还没等学徒回答，牧师插嘴了。“Before the Pupil could answer, the Cleric interrupted.“‘我的学生们需要多种方式的引导，’他说，‘我传授他们礼教、耐心、和克制。在必要的时候，我会使用鞭子。我并不享受惩罚他人——但这是我神圣的职责。’“‘My students require instruction in myriad ways,’ he said. ‘I teach them manners, patience, and restraint. If I must, I will use the lash. I do not enjoy it—these lessons are my sacred duty.’“蒙面者对牧师侧目而视。在头巾下面，她的双眼似乎刺入了他的血肉。“The Veiled One peered at the Cleric. Behind the shroud, her eyes seemed to bore into him.“‘但是你的确乐在其中。’她说。“‘But you do enjoy them,’ she said.“‘请您——’“‘I beg—’“‘说说看，带着伤疤的师父，你的教训真的都是为了学生们好吗？还是说你惩罚他们是为了品尝他们的痛苦？’蒙面者说。“‘Tell me, scarred master, are your lessons truly for the good of your students? Or do you punish them to relish their suffering?’ said the Veiled One.“‘不，’学徒抢先说，‘不是这样的，他很关心我们——’“‘No,’ the Pupil interrupted. ‘He can’t have, he cares about us—’“牧师举起手扇了少年一耳光。“The Cleric raised his hand and struck the boy.“‘轮不到你用谎言来为我辩护，’牧师狠狠地说，他带着伤疤的脸勃然大怒。“‘I don’t need your lying breath to defend me,’ spat the Cleric, his scarred face vivid with anger.“蒙面者摊开手掌，用暗焰禁锢了牧师。火焰闪着幽灵似的紫光，但无论牧师如何挣扎都无法挣脱。“The Veiled One opened her palm and chained the Cleric to her with dark fire. The bindings glimmered with immaterial violet light, but the Cleric could not break them as he struggled.“‘你为了惩罚别人来找我，’她嘶声说道，‘但你却忽略了自己的罪。牧师，病态的自傲一次次将你感染，愈发膨胀。既然你拒绝反省自己，那你就要感受你造成的痛苦。’“‘You came to me for another’s punishment,’ she hissed. ‘But you ignore your own sins. Your sick pride swells as they come back to you, Cleric. Since you refuse to look yourself, I will make you feel the pain you caused.’“通过束缚着他的铁链，蒙面者让他承受了他对学徒们施加的所有羞耻、痛苦和孤独。那一瞬，牧师的心跳骤停，因为一种前所未见的重量束紧了他的灵魂。他跪倒在地，被痛苦折磨定在那儿动弹不得，听凭阴影的火苗舔舐他的血肉。“Through the chains that bound them, the Veiled One forced him to endure all the shame, suffering, and loneliness he had inflicted on his pupils. For an instant, the Cleric’s heart stopped, as a great weight he had never known constricted his very soul. He fell to his knees, fixed in place by bitter torment, as shadowed flames licked his flesh.“‘停下，请住手！’学徒哭喊道。‘要罚就罚我吧。他已经受够痛苦了！’“‘Stop, please stop!’ the student cried. ‘Please, punish me in his place. He has suffered enough!’“‘即使是现在，你也在维护他。’蒙面者说，‘卑鄙之人有太多需要学习的东西，至死方休。他必须亲自感受到自己造成的痛苦，才能永远不再伤害别人。你来此寻求领悟——现在这份重担将由你承担。’“‘You defend him, even now,’ said the Veiled One. ‘The wretch has much to learn ere death's mercy lays claim. He alone must feel the pain he caused so he may never hurt another. You came here seeking understanding—its burden is now yours to bear.’“后来很长一段时间，学徒都没有在修道院里露面。但最后他敌不过饥饿和疲乏，忘记了老师鞭子带来的恐惧。等到他回去的时候，却发现那位牧师完全变了个人。这位曾经蛮横无情的老者如今变得耐心体贴。虽然他脸上的烧伤还没痊愈，但蒙面者的教训更加刻骨铭心。”

“The Pupil did not show his face at his cloister for many days. But when hunger and fatigue overcame him, he finally forgot his fear of his master’s lash. Upon his return, he found the Cleric a different man. Where his elder had been cruel and uncaring, he was patient and gentle. For though the burn on his face had not yet healed, the Veiled One’s lesson had cut far deeper.”

佩里娅把提灯放在雕像的基座上。岩石般灰蒙的脸已经完全被黑暗笼罩，斑驳的影子像泪水一样在她的外套上流淌。

Aunt Peria set her lantern at the base of the statue. Half her stone-gray face was lost to darkness, with flickering shadows running down her shroud like tears.

“霖，许愿让别人受到惩罚务必千万小心。你给出的教训能让你的哥哥成为更好的人吗？即使他真的故意打到你，你也不应该出于自私的目的而惩罚他。”

“Be careful, Rin, when wishing for punishment. Can you teach a lesson that will make your brother a better person? Even if he did hit you on purpose, there is no sense in you punishing him selfishly.”

霖摸到了口袋里的石子。

Rin felt the rocks in his pocket.

“我想，哥哥的确是道过歉了。在我伤了眼睛又摔在地上之后。”说着，他依依不舍地把石子扔到地上。

“I guess my brother did say he was sorry. After I fell down from getting hit in the eye,” he said. He begrudgingly dropped the rocks to the forest floor.

“太好了！我们来感谢蒙面者吧，”

“Wonderful! Let us give thanks to the Veiled One.”

佩里娅打开了提灯，将蜡烛吹灭。

Aunt Peria opened her lantern and blew the candle out.

“记住——复仇是自傲的表现，但教诲是无私的，”她说，“如果你忘了，我会盯住你的！哈！而且蒙面者可能也在盯着你呢！”

“Remember—revenge is an act of pride, but teaching is selfless,” she said. “In case you forget, I’ll be watching you! Ha! And the Veiled One might be, too!”

霖看到青烟缭绕扩散，消失在石像空洞的眼前，将石像笼罩在阴影中。当他再回头的时候，佩里娅已经走进树林，开始朝着村庄往回走了。霖连忙跟了上去。

Rin watched the smoke curl and unfold around the statue’s empty stone eye, shrouding the figure in shadow. When he looked back, Aunt Peria had set off through the trees, back toward the village. Rin hurried to catch up.