勿忘我 Remember Me

作者：Dana Luery Shaw

娲苔忧心忡忡地扭搓着手指上的玉戒指，抬头望着傍山而建的修道院。长存之殿，卡尔玛的家。她从未想过到自己会在这么多年以后回到这里。一路上有许多不同形式的苦痛，而她的膝盖着实耽误了许多事。她深吸一口气，沿着路继续向上走，上面那个不起眼的神龛就标志着卡尔玛冥想间的入口。

Watai twisted the jade ring on her finger anxiously as she stared up at the monastery carved into the mountainside. The Lasting Altar, home to Karma. She hadn’t expected to find herself back here after all this time. The trip had been painful in many ways, not least because her knees had been giving her trouble. Taking a deep breath, she walked up the path, toward a small shrine that marked the entrance to Karma’s private meditation room.

她到了门口，膝盖已经直不起来，娲苔重重摔在地上。这个倒霉地方。她早在六十多年前和贾戈立一起来的时候就已经开始怨恨这个长存之殿了，都怨那些僧人把他叫过来。回忆过去和摔倒在地一样痛。她颤颤巍巍地想要站起来。

Her knee buckled as she reached the entrance, and Watai fell hard onto the ground. This damned place. She learned to hate the Lasting Altar when she had visited with Jakgri some sixty years ago, after the monks had summoned him. The memories brought her as much pain as her fall. She struggled to stand.

“你没事吧？”

“Are you all right?”

娲苔抬起头，看到一个高挑貌美的女子正向她伸出一只手。虽然她不认识这女子的脸，但她认识她身上的披挂，艾欧尼亚的双龙像一轮光环一样盘在她脑后。卡尔玛。

Watai looked up to see a tall and beautiful woman offering her hand. Although she didn’t know the woman’s face, she recognized the mantle she wore with its twin dragons of Ionia encircling her head like a halo. Karma.

“我没事。”娲苔口气生硬地说。“我和你有约。”

“I’m fine,” Watai said brusquely. “I have an appointment to see you.”

“欢迎你，旅人。”那个女子露出优美的笑容，一双黑眼睛闪着光，轻轻握住娲苔的手。“来，让我试试……”卡尔玛另一只手用力弯了一下，搏动的绿光笼罩了她。娲苔感到浑身汗毛直立——光照到的地方是冷的。那名女子把娲苔扶起来。“感觉怎么样？”

“Welcome, wayfarer.” The woman smiled beatifically, her dark eyes sparkling, as she took Watai’s hand in her own. “Here, let me try…” Karma flexed her free hand and a pulsing green light surrounded her. Watai’s skin prickled—the glow felt cold against her skin. The woman pulled Watai to her feet. “How’s that?”

娲苔小心翼翼地试着动了动腿。她的膝盖吃住了劲。然而看到这个新的卡尔玛展现出这一力量，却让她心碎。“我能站了。”她的声音紧绷着。

Gingerly, Watai tested her leg. The knee held. Yet seeing this new Karma wield this power broke her heart. “I can stand,” she said, her voice tight.

那名女子担心地看着娲苔，“真的吗？你看起来还——”

The other woman looked at Watai in concern. “Are you sure? You don’t seem—”

“我的腿没事了，天启者，”娲苔厉声说着，猛地抽回手。 “但你的魔法无法祛除所有痛苦。”

“My leg is fine, Enlightened One,” Watai snapped, pulling her hand back. “But your magic can’t heal every pain.”

她本以为那名女子会疑惑或者激动，但相反，卡尔玛很平静。

She had expected the other woman to look confused or upset, but instead Karma looked… calm.

“你说得对，”卡尔玛一边点头，一边淡淡地说。她将娲苔请进简朴的冥想间。“我无法疗愈悲痛。如果你在战争中失去了亲人，那我能做的只有道歉。我多年来走遍艾欧尼亚各地，向众人道歉，为我造成的伤害和痛苦道歉，是我支持了……坚持了对诺克萨斯的战争。不过……”暂停，一声叹息。“我并不为自己——为艾欧尼亚的反击而道歉。”

“You’re right,” Karma said, nodding placidly as she ushered Watai into the simple meditation room. “I can’t heal grief. If you lost someone in the war, there’s nothing I can do except apologize. I’ve spent years apologizing across the country, for the loss and the pain that followed my decision to support… to pursue the war against Noxus. But…” A pause, a deep breath. “I am not sorry that I—that Ionia—fought back.”

娲苔和卡尔玛四目相对，看了彼此漫长的一眼。“还有其他需要帮忙的吗？”卡尔玛语气谦和地问。

Watai and Karma stared at each other for a long beat. “Is there anything else I can help you with?” Karma asked, not unkindly.

娲苔稍微整理了自己的情绪，“我是在战争之前失去亲人的。”她举起一只手，“你认识这枚戒指吗？”

Watai took a few moments to compose herself. “My loss was before the war.” She held up her hand. “Do you know this ring?”

卡尔玛的目光落到那枚玉戒指上，猛抽一口气。“是。我把它给了……不对。是他？他把戒指给了某个人。”她闭上双眼，用双手捂住。

Karma’s gaze turned to the jade ring and she gasped. “Yes. I gave it to… No. He? He gave it to someone.” She closed her eyes, covering them with her hands.

娲苔和贾戈立在一起的时候就曾得知，这是卡尔玛正在集中精神，试图看清那些并不完全属于她的回忆。“没关系。慢慢来。”

Watai knew from her time with Jakgri that Karma was concentrating hard, trying to access memories that weren’t fully her own. “It’s okay. Take your time.”

六十年前，贾戈立请求他的未婚妻娲苔，陪同他前往长存之殿。从来没出过村子的娲苔一想到要去看外面的世界就兴奋不已。或许这就是他们二人生活的起点。于是娲苔和贾戈立一起踏上了一段耗时两个月的旅程，前往那座修道院。

Sixty years ago, Jakgri had asked Watai, his betrothed, to accompany him on a trip to the Lasting Altar. Watai, who had never traveled outside their village, was excited to see more of the world. Maybe this was how their life together could be from this point on. And so Watai and Jakgri set out together on the two-month journey to the monastery.

你会爱上这里的，贾戈立兴高采烈地说。他的微笑深深地烙印在她脑海中。我知道这里离我们的村子很远，但我们可以找织木匠给我们的房子种出许多许多卧室，这样你的家人来探望的时候就有地方住了。我们可以一起住在修道院旁边的镇上。多好啊？

You will love it here, Jakgri had exclaimed. His smile was burned into her mind. I know it’s far from our village, but we’ll have the woodweaver grow plenty of bedrooms in our house for your family when they visit. We’ll live together in the town just outside the monastery. Isn’t it wonderful?

但是他们梦想中的生活并没有到来。娲苔很快就发现，离开故乡和家人这么远，她是无法感到幸福的。然而贾戈立的宿命让他来到这里，他是不可能回去的。他需要完成一项使命。所以她独自回到了故乡的村庄，虽然还带着他的戒指，但她再也不想回来了。她从未想过要再见一面属于她的那个卡尔玛。

But the life they had dreamed of together was not to be. Watai quickly discovered that she couldn’t be so far from her home and family and still be happy. But Jakgri’s path led him here—there was no way he could go back. He had a duty to fulfill. So she journeyed back to their village alone, still wearing his ring, never expecting to return. Never expecting to see her Karma again.

最后，卡尔玛放下双手，睁开双眼。她的瞳孔闪烁着绿光，和当时的贾戈立一样，那是他在和自己脑海内的无数个声音进行交谈。他的前生前世，如今已属于她。卡尔玛眨了眨眼，目光恢复了正常。

Finally, Karma’s hands fell to her side as her eyes flew open. Her irises glowed the same green that Jakgri’s had when he was speaking with the countless voices in his mind. His past lives, now hers. Karma blinked and her eyes faded to normal.

“娲苔？”她的声音中透着不可置信的惊讶，似乎是在害怕自己认错了人。

“Watai?” There was incredulity in her voice, the fear that she was wrong.

她没有认错。“噢，神灵保佑。”娲苔说着，抹了一把眼睛，没有让眼泪肆意流淌。“我不知道贾戈立是不是真的……他自己，在你的脑海里。”

But she wasn’t. “Oh, bless the spirits,” Watai said, wiping tears away before they had a chance to fall. “I wasn’t sure if Jakgri was… himself, in you.”

“他在，他也不在。他的记忆在这里，但……”她避开了眼神，突然变得腼腆羞涩。

“He is and he isn’t. His memories are mine, but…” She trailed off, suddenly timid.

没关系。这就已经足够了。娲苔看着卡尔玛的双眼，希望能让贾戈立看到自己。娲苔希望卸下自己心灵的负担，否则她会含恨而死。“对不起，贾戈立。我真希望我当初能留下陪你，或者你可以和我一起回家。我希望你能爱上别人。我不愿独自思念你。”

That was fine. That was enough. Watai looked directly into Karma’s eyes, hoping Jakgri could see her through them. Watai wanted to unburden her heart before she died full of regret. “I’m sorry, Jakgri. I wish I could have stayed here with you, or that you could have returned home with me. I hope you were able to find another to love. I don’t like to think of you alone.”

她摘下戒指，摆在卡尔玛的掌心，然后将那名女子纤细的手指扣拢。

She removed her ring and placed it in Karma’s palm, closing the woman’s long fingers around it.

“不。”许多声音一齐说道，卡尔玛的双眼再次燃起往昔灵魂的火光。“贾戈立直到临终的日子里也爱着你。他成为卡尔玛以后唯一后悔的就是无法和你共度余生。但他从来都不孤单。他心中时刻都有艾欧尼亚之魂的陪伴。”她把那枚戒指递回给娲苔。“他希望你能留着他的戒指，只要你自己也想保留。”

“No.” Many voices spoke as one, Karma’s eyes alight with the souls of the past once more. “Jakgri loved you to the end of his days. His only regret in becoming Karma was that he could not share his life here with you. But he was never alone. He had the spirit of Ionia with him always.” She held the ring out to Watai. “He desires for you to keep his ring, if you still want it.”

在卡尔玛的凝视下，娲苔将戒指重新戴会到手指上。这种感觉很安心，因为她也从没有爱上第二个人。“我爱你，贾戈立，”她轻轻说道，声音颤抖但充满喜悦。“我爱你。”

Under Karma’s watchful gaze, Watai slipped the ring back on her finger. It felt right, for she had never loved another either. “I love you, Jakgri,” she whispered, shaken but elated. “I love you.”

瞳孔黯淡的卡尔玛回望向娲苔。“对不起。但此事自古难长久。”

A dark-eyed Karma looked back at Watai. “I’m sorry. It never lasts long.”

娲苔点了点头，她的喉咙发紧。“谢谢你。给了我这个机会。”

Watai nodded, her throat tight. “Thank you. For this.”

“是我应该感谢你，娲苔。”

“I should be thanking you, Watai.”

“为什么？”

“Why?”

“他已经沉默很久了，”她喃喃地说。“自从那次袭击以后。他……他很失望，然后就再也不说话了。这么多年来始终都没有贾戈立的声音，没有前一个卡尔玛的智慧。”她突然握紧了娲苔的双手。“谢谢你，把他带了回来。”

“He hasn’t spoken to me,” she murmured. “Not since the attack. He… was disappointed, then went silent. Years without Jakgri’s voice, without the wisdom of the Karma who came before me.” She took Watai’s hands in her own with a sudden intensity. “Thank you, for bringing him back to me.”

卡尔玛，或者可以叫她达尔哈——她重新进行了自我介绍。她邀请娲苔在长存之殿多住些时日。或许她们一起可以疗愈伤口，因为她们其中一人向贾戈立告别，另一人迎他归来。

Karma—or Darha, as she introduced herself—asked Watai to stay a few days longer at the Lasting Altar. Perhaps together they could begin to heal, as one of them said goodbye to Jakgri and one welcomed him back.

离开冥想间的时候，娲苔看着月光映在她的戒指上，欣赏着它的坚贞不渝。就像她对贾戈立的爱，以及贾戈立对她的爱，这枚戒指历久弥新、完璧无瑕、纯净无垢，六十多年来始终如一。即使她死去，即使她的尸骨被一干二净地葬在天空，这枚戒指也将继续留存，见证他们之间的爱。

As she left the meditation room, Watai looked at the glint of moonlight on her ring, admiring its fidelity. Like her love for Jakgri, and his for her, it had stayed true, unscratched and unsullied, for over sixty years. Even when she died, when her bones were picked clean by the sky, this ring would remain, a token of the love they shared.

通过卡尔玛，他们的爱将超越生命的时限。

Through Karma, their love would outlast lifetimes.