迟来的倾诉 Everything We Should Have Said

作者：Michael Luo

奎桑提抹了一把额头，沾血的手指揩下一把汗泥。他微微弓着背，新鲜的伤口阵阵灼痛，但他高大的身躯仍然让周围十几个来袭者相形见绌。脚边横七竖八的尸首正在恕瑞玛的沙土上被烈日炙烤。这些都是一位飞升者的狂热信徒，而他们所信奉的半神一直都在想方设法置奎桑提于死地。

K’Sante wipes his forehead, his bloodied fingers catching sweat and dirt. He stands with his back hunched, and wounds fresh, but still towers over the tensome attackers surrounding him. Beside them, fallen bodies lie baking in the Shuriman heat—all crazed followers of the Ascended who’ve been seeking K’Sante’s death.

几名残党举起了刀剑。奎桑提看到利刃上的反光。他知道烈日正在头顶望着这一切，它在凝视，在等待他的动作。他在脑海中幻想自己死在这里，朝地面啐了一口。这就是一场简单的埋伏。他成为纳祖芒的荣耀，可不是为了最后死在这种地方。更何况就在这片草原上，他的先人曾战胜过更强大的敌人。眼前这最多算是一群劫匪——被某个疯狂巫师蛊惑的劫匪，以为自己能开创一番大业。

The remaining zealots raise their swords. K’Sante sees glints of light on their blades. He knows the sun is watching overhead, its gaze awaiting his next move. He entertains the thought of dying here and spits on the ground. It was a simple ambush. He hadn’t become the Pride of Nazumah just to perish in the very savanna where his ancestors had overcome even grander foes. These were raiders at best—lost in some deranged sorcerer’s delusions of conquest.

狂徒们叫嚷着冲上来，踩得高草丛一片乱晃。奎桑提观察他们的动作。毫无战略——只有嗜血的冲动。他咬紧了牙关。虽然双腿伤口淋漓，胸口上满是淤青，嘴里还泛着血腥，但他仍然鼓起力量稳住身体。

The zealots holler and charge, shrublands echoing the rumble of their feet. K’Sante watches their movements. There’s no strategy here—only bloodlust. He grits his teeth, and, despite his battered legs, a bruised chest, and the taste of his own blood in his mouth, braces himself.

钢铁的碰撞发出巨响。奎桑提双持陀斧，挡下一记致命的挥砍。他低吼一声，推开对方的刀刃，武器的重量带给他巨大的优势。奎桑提在制作这副武器的时候就考虑到了这一点。这双笨重巨大、棱角分明的武具使用蟒狮兽的甲皮打造——恕瑞玛境内最强韧的材料之一。

Metal clashes against metal. K’Sante’s ntofos block a lethal slash. He growls as he pushes against the zealot’s blade, the weight of his own weapons working in his favor. K’Sante had constructed them with that in mind, their hefty rectangular structure built from cobra-lion armor—one of the strongest materials in all of Shurima.

一个狂徒窜到近前，一剑划伤了奎桑提的脸颊。他一声闷哼，大力猛推陀斧。与他交锋的敌人被推翻在地，随后他又抡圆了双臂，打倒了划伤他脸颊的狂徒。他轻松地笑出了声。想来有些不可思议，他觉得诛杀巴凯算是简单的了，相比之下，眼前一轮又一轮的进攻更加棘手。

A zealot sneaks in with a sword and slices K’Sante’s cheek. He grunts from the pain and shoves his ntofos into the foe he’s blocking, causing them to collapse, then swings his weapons in an arc, striking the zealot who’d cut him. He chuckles. Somehow, slaying a Baccai seems easier now than fending off wave after wave of the Ascended’s zealots.

“杀了那个异端！”敌人大喊道，“巫灵殿下有令！”

“Kill the nonbeliever!” cry his enemies. “The Magus demands it!”

奎桑提对于泽拉斯有很多个人的见解，但是这些话同这群巫灵的信徒讲完全是浪费口舌。他们很快也会和其他人一样躺在地上，没可能帮他捎去口信，而且他更希望能亲自告诉那个巫灵，那只巴凯是他杀的。想到这里，想到那个自称为“神”的巫灵，会造出一只蟒狮兽去残害无辜的民众……

K’Sante has many words he wishes to say about Xerath, but telling the Magus’ followers would be a waste. They’ll soon join their companions, unable to pass on any messages, and he’d rather speak to Xerath himself to let the Magus know it was he who slayed the Baccai abomination. To think the Magus, a self-declared “god,” would create a cobra-lion to terrorize innocent people...

奎桑提感到一阵反胃。他的族人，他的文化，那些都是他的骄傲。而对这群巫灵的信徒而言，很不巧，这份骄傲就是他赖以求生的薪柴。他目光如炬，握紧了手中的武器，迎接敌人又一次冲击。

K’Sante’s stomach churns in disgust. His people, his culture—they are his pride. And, unfortunately for the Magus’ followers, that pride fuels his survival. Eyes forward, he grips his weapons tighter as his enemies push their assault.

狂徒们一拥而上，从四面八方扑来。究竟是几个人？四个、五个、六个？他的眼前一阵模糊一阵清晰，可能是因为炎热，可能是因为疲惫。他向前迈出一步，但右膝却突然一个趔趄。他挥舞两把陀斧，一边保持平衡一边抵挡上方和下方的攻击。现在一众敌人全都扑到了他身上角力。他们肯定以为他要扛不住了。

The zealots plunge toward him, attacking from all angles. How many are there? Four, five, six? His vision fades in and out—maybe due to heat, maybe due to exhaustion—and he steps forward, but his right knee buckles beneath him. Using his ntofos, he steadies himself and blocks strikes from above and below. His enemies are piling against him, now. They must think he’s hit his limit.

怎么可能。

Hardly.

他怒吼之下，掀翻所有敌人，重新了站起来。但还没等他展开反击，三支箭矢从高空落下，正中三人咽喉。奎桑提吃惊地看着眼前三人挣扎着喘息，最后翻身倒地。

With a roar, he knocks them back and hefts himself onto his feet again. But before he can retaliate, three arrows fall from the sky and land dead center in three zealots’ throats. Stunned, K’Sante watches his foes stagger and gasp for air before toppling over.

“拿下他们！”一个声音命令道。

“Take them out!” a voice commands.

奎桑提转过身，看到一个身着盔甲的高大身影，正拿着一张弓，身后跟着另外三名弓箭手，正分别搭上三支新箭。他们的战袍上都带着金绿相杂的纹样，另外带头的人戴着一副纹饰面具，遮住了面孔。

K’Sante turns, seeing a tall, armored warrior wielding a bow and leading three other archers, each nocking fresh arrows. They wear matching patterns of green and gold, but the leader’s face is hidden behind an ornate mask.

“别担心，纳祖芒的来客。”带头的人说，“我们不是飞升者的朋友。”

“Worry not, Nazuman,” the leader says. “We are no friends of the Ascended.”

奎桑提瞥了一眼狂徒尸首上的箭羽：“看出来了。”

K’Sante glances at the arrows stuck in the dead zealots’ bodies. “I see that.”

带头的人放声大笑。他的声音温厚沉稳，有种说不出的熟悉。奎桑提虽然看不到那人的面目，但却感到一阵安心。

The leader laughs. His voice is warm and rich and somehow familiar. K’Sante can’t see the man’s face, yet is reassured.

狂徒再次发起冲锋，而奎桑提半路杀出的援兵也整队集结。

The zealots rush once more while K’Sante’s unexpected allies gather together.

“准备好了吗，纳祖芒人？”带头的人问。

“Ready, Nazuman?” the leader asks.

“当然。”

“Always.”

奎桑提把双手上的陀斧砸向地面。大地向前方开裂，尘土和碎石沿着地缝向上喷发，距离奎桑提最近的敌人被击退了几大步。陀斧的外层也随即破碎脱落。武器的内核暴露在阳光下，一双黑曜石刃赫然出现。奎桑提将手柄反握，锋刃直指正前。他知道自己的时间很有限，不用多久，这副武器的防御性外壳就会自我修复。

K’Sante slams down his ntofos. The ground before him ruptures, sending cracks rippling through the dirt and gravel surging upward from the impact, which knocks back the foes closest to K’Sante. The ntofos’ outer layers shatter. Their now-exposed centers shimmer in the sun, revealing twin obsidian blades. K’Sante reverses his grip and aims the sharpened edges ahead. He knows he only has a brief time before his weapons regenerate their defensive coating.

奎桑提向前飞跃。他用尽全部力量，在空中旋转身体，顺势抬起腿，一记回旋踢重重打到三个敌人。就在他们向后翻滚的同时，他落地站稳，两把陀斧同时劈砍他们的躯干，切开铠甲和血肉。

K’Sante leaps forward. Mustering all his strength, he uses his momentum to spin midair, heaving one leg across his front to land a devastating roundhouse kick on three of his foes. As they tumble back, he lands with a thud and slices his ntofos across their chests, tearing through armor and flesh.

狂徒们发出惨叫。

The zealots scream.

奎桑提的友军振臂高呼。

K’Sante’s allies roar.

一阵箭雨落在他身边，阻挡了侧翼的夹击。

A hail of arrows falls around him, blocking the zealots who’ve flanked to his sides.

“不留活口！”带头的人大声下令。

“Take no prisoners!” the leader declares.

奎桑提点点头。红色顺着他的脸往下淌——不知是他自己的血还是敌人的血。他咬紧牙绷紧全身，挺身上前，将利刃插入敌人的心脏。他们一个接一个地倒下。

K’Sante nods. Red runs down his face—whether it’s his blood or his enemies, he isn’t sure. With clenched teeth and furrowed brow, he pushes ahead, thrusting his blades into the hearts of his enemies. One by one, they fall.

尘埃落定，狂徒们一动不动地躺着，终于和其他同伴一样安静了。

When the dust settles, the zealots lie still, finally among their previously fallen companions.

“结束了。”带头的人满意地说。

“It is over,” the leader observes, satisfied.

“是啊。”奎桑提说，“现在是结束了。”他站起身，但光是这样就已经耗尽了全部力气。他的脸上和身上都是一片鲜红，他的目光依然停留在那些尸首上，手里的两把陀斧已经开始了自我修复。

“Yes,” K’Sante says. “For now.” He stands upright, but just barely, his face and body stained crimson. The ntofos in his hands begin to regenerate as he stares at the lifeless zealots’ bodies.

“你一点都没变，奎桑提。”带头的人说。

“You haven’t changed one bit, K’Sante,” the leader says.

奎桑提抬头望去。那副面具现在已经摘下，一个笑容回望着他的目光。奎桑提曾以为自己再也见不到这个笑容，出现在这个人的脸庞——图佩。

K’Sante looks up. Mask now in hand, a smiling face looks back. It's an expression K’Sante assumed he’d never see from this man—from Tope—ever again.

“你肯定有很多想问的。不过先别急，跟我来。”图佩指着远处说，“我们的营地就在附近，看你这副样子，肯定累坏了。”

“I’m sure you have questions. But for now, come with us.” Tope gestures loosely into the distance with his hand. “Our camp is nearby, and you look dreadful.”

奎桑提无法平息自己颤抖的呼吸。虽然他还拿不定主意，但休憩片刻的想法让他无法抗拒。奎桑提缓缓点头，迈出一步，可一瞬间世界开始旋转。他瘫倒在地。

K’Sante can’t stifle his strained breathing. Even though he’s unsure, the idea of rest is too enticing. K’Sante nods slowly and takes a step closer, but the world spins around him, and he collapses to the ground.

奎桑提醒来的时候正躺在木板床上，盖着柔软的毛毯。他抚摸着绿色的线束，感受柔软且强韧的纤维——这是髓印织法特有的标志。

When K’Sante wakes, he’s lying on a wooden bed beneath soft blankets. He runs his fingers along the verdant threads, feeling their gentle, sinewy fibers—a trademark of Marrowmarkan fabric.

帐篷为他遮挡了烈日的热度，但他能清楚地听见外面整座营地的繁忙。铸铁的声音，锻钢的声音——让他想起自己的武器。奎桑提赶紧扫视一圈，然后舒了一口气。他的两把陀斧已经完全复原，磨亮擦净，斜靠在床柱上。他仔细望着侧面露出的蟒狮兽图样，那是他根据图佩以前的画作在上面雕刻并涂装的。他突然在想图佩有没有注意到。如果他看到了，会不会说些什么？如果图佩有什么想法该怎么办？毕竟那已经是很多年前的事了。奎桑提努力回忆，究竟有多少年了？

The tent overhead shields him from the sun’s heat, but he can still hear the bustling camp outside its walls. Iron being forged, steel being hammered—sounds that remind him of his own weapons. K’Sante quickly scans his surroundings and, to his relief, sees his now fully regenerated ntofos leaning against the bedpost, polished and cleaned. He studies the cobra-lion inlay along their sides, images he carved and painted himself based on some of Tope’s old drawings. He wonders if Tope noticed. Would he say something, even if he did? What if Tope made the wrong assumption? That was years ago, after all. K’Sante tries to remember. Exactly how long has it been?

“整整两天。”一个声音传来，“你睡得像个穿山甲崽子。”图佩穿着髓印人标志性的绿金双色罩衣，正双臂交叉站在奎桑提的帐篷门口。面对他的笑容，奎桑提也回以微微扬起的嘴角。

“Two whole days,” a voice says. “You were out like a baby armordillo.” Dressed in a Marrowmarkman tunic of greens and golds, Tope stands by the entrance of K’Sante’s tent, his arms crossed. Seeing his grin, K’Sante offers a half-smile in return.

“今天不戴面具了？”奎桑提支撑着坐起来，一边问道。

“No mask today?” K’Sante asks, sitting up.

“我还不了解你么。如果我当时没戴面具，你肯定不会让我插手的。”

“We both know, had I not been wearing a mask, you wouldn’t have let me help with those zealots.”

奎桑提深吸一口气打算反驳，但只是闭上嘴发出一声叹息。虽然他最近一直在努力克制自己的脾气，但他必须承认，这话说的不全错。

K’Sante opens his mouth to protest, only to close it again with a sigh. Despite his recent efforts to curb his more audacious tendencies, he knows there’s still truth in that statement.

“消息传的很快。”图佩继续说道，“在过去几个月里，飞升者的势力一直在向南扩张。我估计他们会抵达大草原。我也估计纳祖芒会派出精锐。但我没料到会遇见你。你自己一个人。对上二十多个敌人。”

“Word spreads fast,” Tope explains. “Over the past few months, the Ascended forces have encroached farther south. I expected them to be by the savanna. And I expected Nazumah to send its finest. What I didn’t expect was to see you. Just you. Fighting twenty-plus of their soldiers.”

“我觉得我能解决。”奎桑提起身下床。他从兵器旁边抓起自己的护甲，呻吟着穿戴整齐，他浑身每一处都在痛。

“I thought I could take them.” K’Sante stumbles out of bed. He grabs his armor from beside his weapons and grunts as he puts it on, his body aching everywhere.

“你当然能了。”图佩暗骂了一声。“我何必费事带人去一趟。”他摇摇头，“行了，既然你能下地，那就肯定能上桌。要不一边吃午饭一边谢我吧？我可不能让纳祖芒的荣耀饿着肚子回家。”

“Of course you did,” Tope mutters under his breath. “And I’m sure you would have.” He shakes his head. “Well, if you can walk, you can eat. Why don’t you thank me over lunch? I won’t have the Pride of Nazumah returning home on an empty stomach.”

奎桑提谨慎地跟着图佩走出帐篷。宽敞的营地映入眼帘，战士们或切磋刀剑，或养护弓弦，其中还有几个熟悉的面孔，是跟随图佩营救他的小队成员。一旁则是伙夫们正在搅动几口铸铁大锅。奎桑提闻到了一股温馨又熟悉的味道：木薯、山药和燕麦。另一股香气飘来，是番茄、洋葱、山羊肉和辣椒拌饭。

K’Sante gingerly follows Tope out of the tent. Before him, the camp stretches wide. Warriors spar and restring bows, and among them are some faces he recognizes from Tope’s rescue party. Nearby, chefs stir various cast-iron pots. K’Sante smells something comforting and familiar wafting out from one of them: Cassava, yams, and cornmeal. And from another, tomatoes, onions, goat meat, and peppers over rice.

图佩拽来两把椅子摆到一张空桌子两端。一个穿着大码盔甲的年轻人端着杯子快步走来。

Tope pulls a couple chairs up to an open table. A young man wearing armor two sizes too large rushes over with filled glasses.

“椰奶酒？”图佩提议道。

“Palm wine?” Tope offers.

奎桑提有点动心。这是他最爱的来自故乡的酒。但他拒绝了。他要保持清醒的头脑来应对接下来的这场对话。“清水。”他答道，“劳驾。”

K’Sante is tempted. It is the favorite drink of his home. But, he passes. He wishes to keep his mind sound for wherever this conversation might lead. “Water,” he answers. “Please.”

图佩笑着看了那名侍从一眼。“按他吩咐。”

Tope beams at the attendant. “You heard the man.”

年轻人快步走开了。

The young man scurries off.

“那，”奎桑提开口问道，“你手下管你叫什么？”

“So,” K’Sante asks, “what do they call you here?”

“多数时候，叫国王或者大人。”图佩面无表情地说。奎桑提面露迟疑。图佩拍桌子笑了起来。“说着玩的！都这么多年过去了，你还以为，我会自封为王，就跟那帮飞升的疯子一样？”

“King or Lord, mostly,” Tope says, face static. K’Sante hesitates. Tope slaps the table with a grin. “I’m joking! You think, after all these years, I’d crown myself like a mad Ascended?”

“我简直不敢猜你姨妈会怎么教育你。”奎桑提说。

“I don’t dare guess what your aunty might think,” K’Sante says.

“哦，她肯定会把我赶出家门。”图佩十分自信地说，“而且还要当着大家的面。这样才不会给咱家祖先抹黑。”他模仿着姨妈的声音说道。

“Oh, that woman would have me disowned,” Tope assures. “Publicly—so our ancestors would not be offended,” he explains in his aunty’s voice.

奎桑提笑出了声。

K’Sante chuckles.

“这可不是说着玩的。”图佩跟着一起笑着说，“你爹妈也是一样。”

“That’s no joke.” Tope continues, chuckling in tandem. “Your parents would do the same.”

侍从端着两个盛满的餐盘回来了，图佩分别给奎桑提和自己倒了一杯水。看到辣椒拌饭的瞬间，奎桑提的肚子发出咕咕的叫声。米粒被辣椒染成亮橘色，辛辣的热气止不住地往外冒。

He pours water for K’Sante and himself as the attendant returns with two plates of food. K’Sante’s stomach growls at the sight of peppered rice, dyed bright orange by spices, with fiery scents steaming off its top.

“来，”图佩说，“管够。”

“Please,” Tope says. “Dig in.”

奎桑提一边吃，一边打量着图佩和周围的营地。这里每个人好像都很开心，即便正身处于战事之中。附近一伙人正在轮流讲述战场上的见闻，不时传来欢笑。形形色色的人来来回回地穿梭。气氛匆忙又有序，但无论何时，只要图佩要求再上一轮食物和水，他的手下都会毫无怨言地照办。

As K’Sante eats, he examines Tope and the surrounding camp. Everyone here seems happy, even amid warfare. Laughter travels from nearby people exchanging battlefield tales. Men and women come and go, offering their well-wishes as they jog between stations. The atmosphere is busy and driven, but whenever Tope asks for more food and drink, it’s delivered without complaint.

“看来你当初的愿望实现了。”奎桑提缓缓地说。

“Looks like you’ve made it,” K’Sante observes.

图佩小啜一口酒，举起一只手扫过整座营地，“是的，率领一群追随我的蠢货。到目前为止，还没有谁想要造反。你敢信吗？”

Tope sips his wine. He then raises an arm and motions to the rest of the camp with a sweep of his hand. “Yes, leading my own band of fools. So far, no one’s removed me from command. Can you believe it?”

“你这么倔，谁敢造反。”

“You’re too stubborn for that.”

“哪有猎豹取笑花豹身上斑点太多的？”

“Does the cheetah call the leopard spotted?”

两个人都笑了。奎桑提注意到图佩的脸上多了些粗糙的棱角——年岁和伤痕留下的印记。是新伤吗？还是他从前没注意到？奎桑提在寻找着什么。愤怒、悲伤、痛苦？他的身体因内疚而变得僵硬。他继续往嘴里塞东西，眼睛四处张望，营地中的嘈杂填充了二人对话间的沉默。

Both men smile. K’Sante notices the roughened edges on Tope’s face—marks of age and a few scars. Are they new? Or were they part of what he failed to notice before? K’Sante searches for something. Anger, sadness, pain? His body stiffens with guilt. He continues to eat and glances around the camp, the busy clamor filling the pause in their conversation.

“指挥官。”图佩说，“他们应该叫我指挥官。但我不喜欢，所以我命令他们不许这么叫我。”

“Commander,” Tope says. “That’s what they’re supposed to call me. I don’t like it, so I command them not to.”

“至少你不叫髓印城荣耀。”奎桑提说。

“At least you’re not the Pride of Marrowmark,” K’Sante says.

“哈！这个头衔一直都和你更配。对了，听说要为你举办一场庆典？”

“Ha! That title always fit you better than it did me. Say, I hear there’s going to be a celebration in your name?”

奎桑提略显羞愧地说，“呃，对。在纳祖芒的猎手大厅。”

K’Sante humbles himself. “Uh, yes. At Hunter’s Hall in Nazumah.”

图佩投来钦佩的目光。“那是我们一起训练的地方。太棒了！你父母——肯定会去参加吧？”

Tope looks impressed. “Right where we used to train. That’s fantastic! Your mother and father—I assume they’re going?”

“拦都拦不住。”

“I couldn’t drag them away.”

“我倒是想看看你是怎么拦的。”

“I would like to see you try.”

奎桑提笑出了声。

K’Sante chuckles.

“什么时候办？”图佩问。

“When is it?” Tope asks.

奎桑提又咽下一口辣椒拌饭。“下个月。第一个周末。”

K’Sante swallows another bite of peppered rice. “It’s next month. The first weekend.”

“坏了，正赶上我那几天结婚！”图佩嘴里抱怨，脸上却一片喜气。

“Oh, right around my wedding!” Tope chirps cheerfully.

奎桑提突然一阵局促，不知该说什么。他赶紧堆出笑容，“恭喜你啊！”

K’Sante wavers, searching for words. Quickly, he smiles. “Congratulations!”

“谢谢。”图佩并没有觉察奎桑提的慌乱，微笑着说，“看来我们要错过彼此的重要日子了。”

“Thank you,” Tope smiles back, unaware of K’Sante’s fluster. “Looks like we’ll both miss each other’s special occasions.”

奎桑提又笑出声来。这么多年过去了，图佩依然头脑灵光。当初他也正是因为这一点而与图佩交好。在他们相处的时间里，总少不了欢笑。一起狩猎，一起吃饭，他们之间最永恒的回忆，就是共同分享的欢笑。

K’Sante chuckles again. After all these years, Tope still has his wit. That’s what had attracted him to Tope in the first place. How, in their interactions, there was always laughter. On hunts, at dinner, in bed. The timeless parts of their romance were the joys they shared.

奎桑提很怀念这段感情。然而，他也知道分开是正确的选择。最后那场蟒狮兽的狩猎，打破了他们之间的默契。当时他们还年轻。谁也不服谁。而且总爱争论对错。自尊心是个奇怪的东西。有的时候它会成就你最好的自己，同时换来最坏的结果。

K’Sante misses it. And yet, he knows it was the right choice for them to separate. That final cobra-lion hunt—it broke them. They were young. They were strong. And they couldn’t agree on anything. That’s the funny thing about pride. Sometimes, it reveals the worst version of your best self.

奎桑提曾设想过许多场景，但从未想过会和这个人像现在这样，对坐在桌前边吃边聊。但他并非毫无准备。几年前，他对自己承诺，如果这一天真的来了，他不会说出任何埋怨的话语。往事已矣。其实，他现在更在乎的是当下和未来。

Out of all the things K’Sante expected, the last was this meal with the man sitting across from him. But he isn’t unprepared. Years ago, he had promised himself that should this day happen, there would be no blame. The past was the past. In fact, he’s more curious now about the present and the future.

奎桑提的目光从饭菜上移开。“你们两个是怎么认识的？”

K’Sante stares up from his food. “How did you two meet?”

“啊，说来好笑。”图佩答道，“我们是在学校遇到的。”

“Ah, funny story,” Tope responds. “I met him at school.”

“学校？”

“School?”

“嗯。”图佩短暂地停顿了一下，“蟒狮兽那件事之后，我回到了髓印。回学校学习。你知道的，我一直都很喜欢研究战斗中的细节。于是，我花了几年时间学习，所有能学的东西，比如其他遥远文化中的军事策略。诺克萨斯、德玛西亚、还有弗雷尔卓德的冷峻战士。”

“Yes,” Tope says, then pauses. “After the cobra-lion, I went back to Marrowmark. Back to school. You know that I always loved studying the intricacies of combat. So, I took a couple years to learn everything, such as strategies from faraway cultures. Noxus, Demacia, and those cold, sad warriors in the Freljord.”

奎桑提假装吃惊，“他们就是因为这个，让你当上了指挥官？”他夸张地吸了一口冷气，“战争真是会让叫人物尽其用，能用就用。”

K’Sante feigns surprise. “And that was enough to convince them to make you commander?” He exhales through closed teeth with exaggerated gravity. “War really does make people desperate.”

图佩坏笑着说：“看到你还没有丢掉幽默感，我就放心了。”

Tope snickers. “I’m glad you’ve not lost your humor.”

他向后靠在椅背上。“我们都走过了很长的路，奎桑提。”图佩轻轻地说，“出发时还是两个年轻的猎人……他们说我们什么来着？只有本事，没有规矩？”

He leans back in his chair. “We’ve both come far, K’Sante,” Tope observes. “From two young hunters with... What did they used to call us? All talent, no discipline?”

奎桑提点点头：“现在我们是有些本事，也懂点规矩……但还差些火候。”

K’Sante nods. “Now we’re some talent with some discipline... sometimes.”

图佩放声大笑，豪爽奔放。奎桑提回忆起这笑声带来的温暖——图佩总是能让人生出一种安定感。奎桑提叹了口气，扭了扭肩膀。在坐上这把椅子以后第一次，他也向后靠在椅背上。

Tope laughs, loud and free. K’Sante is reminded of the warmth of that booming sound—how Tope always made those around him feel accepted. K’Sante sighs, relaxes his shoulders, and, for the first time during this meal, he too leans back against his chair.

“你知道吗，我以前一直没机会说。”图佩挑起了话头，“可能是因为我当时还不相信，但现在……如果我再不说出口的话会后悔一辈子。所以我就有话直说了啊。”

“You know, I never got the chance to say this,” Tope begins, “probably because I didn’t believe it back then, but now... I'll regret it if I don’t. So here goes.”

奎桑提看着图佩——他没有继续说下去，反而双手开始抠起了指甲。

K’Sante watches Tope pick at his nails before he continues.

“对不起。”图佩最后站了起来，开口说道。“我当时没有全力支持你。就是，蟒狮兽那件事。至少，不是你想要的支持。我当时没有意识到，对你来说——”

“I’m sorry,” Tope finally says, sitting up tall. “I didn’t support you back then. During the cobra-lion battle, I mean. At least, not the way you wanted. I hadn’t realized what it meant for you to—”

“不。”奎桑提打断了他。

“No,” K’Sante interjects.

这段对话已经在他脑海中设想了许多次。几年前，他只要一静下来就止不住地想这件事。他反复回忆着自己的感受，琢磨背后的原因。后来，这件事不再是他的执念，更像是一个教训。时不时地提醒他这段经历使他产生的蜕变，让他终于看清了自己的自负能够造成多大的伤害。

He’s thought about this conversation many times over. A few years ago, it was the only thing he could think about. Rehashing what he felt, and why. Then, later on, it started to come up less frequently and felt more like a lesson. A reminder of how their relationship had evolved him, and how it allowed him to finally acknowledge the damage his pride could do.

他花了更久才真正理解，包括现在，他的自负是一股力量——可以推开旁人，在战场上力挽狂澜。在一段合作关系中，这股力量……也会将人推开。只不过上阵杀敌非常简单直接。而与人和解却太复杂微妙。

It took him even longer to understand that, even now, his pride is a force—one that drives off others and turns tides in battle. In love, it is... not so different. Killing enemies is straightforward. Resolving conflicts is not.

最近这些日子，奎桑提已经不再常常设想这段对话了，甚至都快忘了。话说回来，他完全没预想过今天这种场合，但早些年间那么长久的辗转反侧让他可以不假思索地说出接下来的话。

These days, K’Sante hasn’t thought about this conversation much, if at all. Again, he certainly hadn’t expected to be having it now, but all those years spent thinking about it allows him to say what comes next.

“不。”奎桑提坚定地重复了一遍，随后俯身向前，“是我伤害了你。”

“No,” K’Sante repeats firmly, and sits forward. “I hurt you.”

他长舒一口气。“是，那只狮子很要命。而且没错，猎杀它对我来说比什么都重要——那意味着我可以成为纳祖芒最伟大的战士。但我当时没必要以一种贬低你的方式去完成这件事。事实上，你的笔记帮了我大忙。是你发现它其实是一只巴凯。多亏有你，我才能完成我们共同开启的狩猎。为此，我要感谢你。”

He exhales. “Yes, the cobra-lion was damning. And yes, it meant everything to me to slay it—to prove that I could be Nazumah’s greatest warrior. But I didn’t need to do it in a way that belittled you. In fact, I used your notes. You discovered it was Baccai. That’s what allowed me to finish what we had started. For that, I’m grateful.”

奎桑提低头看他们的餐盘，二人都只吃了一半。显然是聊得太过投入了。他抬起目光，与图佩四目相对。“我也不是一个合格的搭档。为此，我要向你道歉。对不起。”

K’Sante looks down at their plates, both half-eaten. A sign of deep conversation. His eyes rise to meet Tope’s. “I could’ve been a better partner to you, too. And for that, I’m sorry. I truly am.”

沙漠上的冷风吹过，他看到图佩的表情变得柔和起来。太阳肯定已经落山了。但究竟是在什么时候，他不记得。

He senses the cool desert air on his skin as he watches Tope’s face soften. The sun must’ve set. When it dropped from the sky, he can’t recall.

他深吸一口气，露出微笑，“不过你也应该感谢我。”

He takes a breath and smiles. “But you should also thank me.”

“哦？”图佩被逗笑了。他啜了一口酒，思索着奎桑提的话，“为什么呢？”

“Oh?” Tope says, amused. He sips his wine as he considers K’Sante. “And why’s that?”

“多亏我当时的所作所为，你才能收获今天的事业和爱情。”

“By doing what I did, it seems I’ve helped you in both your career and your love life.”

图佩笑得把酒从鼻孔里呛出来。他前仰后合，捶胸顿足。笑也会传染。二人的欢声笑语融入了营地中篝火边上的歌舞。

Wine spurts from Tope’s nose. He throws his head back, howling with laughter. It’s contagious. The merry sounds of both men intertwine with nearby campfire songs and dance.

“你的自尊心呐，”图佩说，“从来都不会放下。”他微笑着叹息，擦干桌面上的酒滴，“那是你最强大的力量，而我——当然可能不只是我，会觉得纳祖芒有你实在是太幸运了。当今这世道，要做纳祖芒的荣耀，舍你其谁呢。”

“That pride of yours,” Tope says, “has never truly gone away.” Smiling and sighing, he wipes droplets of wine off the table. “It is your greatest strength, and I, for one, think the Nazumans are lucky to have you. In times like these, there is no better Pride of Nazumah.”

奎桑提躺在椅背上，欣赏宽广的夜空。这段对话曾在他脑海中设想过千万种不同的走向。但如今看到图佩的成功，听到他的谅解，感受到他的成熟——再加上奎桑提自己的成长，他终于感到了轻松。

K’Sante sits back and enjoys the wide, open evening sky. He had imagined this conversation going a million different ways. Seeing Tope’s success, hearing his acceptance, and feeling his maturity—coupled with K’Sante’s own growth—is a relief.

他拿起椰奶酒壶，给自己满上一杯。“也没人比你更适当合髓印的指挥官。”

He grabs the pitcher of palm wine and pours himself a glass. “And no better commander of Marrowmark.”

“那这杯敬我们。”图佩举起酒杯说，“无论是飞升者、皇帝、还是什么怪兽——”

“Then let us toast,” Tope declares. “Ascended, empires, or beasts—”

“谁都别想染指我们的家园，我们将屹立不倒！”

“None shall threaten our homes while we still stand!”