负担 The Burden

“真者，所以说我们必须撤回到芭茹。我们无法挽救这些俗人，”说法使说。这位敦实的女人露齿而笑，显然一想到有希望离开比尔吉沃特，就掩饰不住窃喜。

“Truth Bearer, this is why we must retreat to Buhru. We cannot save the paylangi,” the Hierophant said. The heavy-set woman grinned, obviously pleased by the prospect of leaving Bilgewater.

“这些你都曾经提过，”俄洛伊一边说一边绕着屋子中间的石桌踱步。她活动了一下双肩，放松肌肉，把到嘴边的哈欠憋了回去。

“You’ve mentioned that before,” Illaoi said, walking around the stone table in the center of the room. She rolled her shoulders, loosening the muscles to fight off a yawn.

说法使旁边还站着一位年迈的唤蛇者。他穿着一件用粗麻绳编成的长袍，每一根麻绳都被染成靛蓝色，薄厚不均，毛糙卷曲，上面斑驳褪色的海怪墨汁给人带来一种错觉，似乎这位老人身上披挂着的是一团触手。他的脸上布满了黑色的刺青，描绘着海怪巨口中的无数颗牙齿。僧人和唤蛇者总是想要装扮成吓人的模样。大多数男人都有这种无聊的毛病。

Beside the Hierophant, an elderly serpent caller stood. He wore a vestment made from ropes. Each indigo-dyed cord had been woven to curl; their varying thicknesses and faded kraken ink gave him the illusion of being draped in rough-hewn tentacles. His face was completely covered by a black tattoo depicting the endless teeth of a leviathan’s maw. Monks and serpent callers were always trying to look scary. It was an annoying habit of most men.

“圣兽们不会靠近比尔吉沃特，”唤蛇者喘着气说道。“他们都在深海之下，远离屠宰码头的腥臭。最多也只会有饿坏的幼兽能响应我们的召唤。”

“The greatest beasts won’t approach Bilgewater,” the serpent caller said with a wheeze. “They stay out in the deep water, away from the stench of the Slaughter Docks. At best, a few half-starved younglings will heed our summons.”

只有娜伽卡波洛丝最强大的子嗣才能够吞噬迷雾，守住这座城度过蚀魂夜。蟒行群岛的其他地区并没有这个问题。

Only the greatest children of Nagakabouros were strong enough to consume the mists and defend the city from the Harrowing. The rest of the Serpent Isles didn’t have this problem.

这再次提醒教团，比尔吉沃特人有多么无知。这些从陆地上来的居民从来不会用清水冲走码头上的秽物，反而是沿着海湾内的每一片滩涂搭建起永久的锚地。愚蠢之极。教团里许多神职员都因此断言，俗子们根本就是自愿被黑雾吞噬的。

It was yet another reminder of the ignorance of Bilgewater’s population. The mainlanders and their descendants didn’t give time for fresh water to flow through and clean their docks. Instead, the paylangi settled permanent anchorages around every shore in the bay. It was so foolish. Many of the priesthood asserted it was proof the paylangi actually wanted to be consumed by the Black Mists.

“狗屁。”俄洛伊说。如果她要留下来，就得想出办法不靠海蛇守住这座城。她在盛满贡品的碗里挑挑拣拣，最后摸出了一枚芒果。她需要一个计划，而旁边这两个笨蛋难堪大用。

“Crap,” Illaoi said. If she was going to stay, she would have to find a way to defend the city without serpents. She picked at the food from one of the offering bowls around her, before selecting a mango. She needed a plan, and these two fools were useless.

响亮的碎裂声打断了她的思考。楼下的一扇厚重的木门被撞开了。

A loud crack interrupted her musing. A heavy, wooden door had slammed open downstairs.

普朗克咆哮的声音传了上来，他的话音含糊难懂，回响在神庙的石墙内。

Gangplank’s voice howled, the words were unintelligible, echoing around the stone walls.

“按照您的指示，我们把他捞上来了。”说法使笑着说，正了正象征她位阶的的翡翠颈环。“或许还是应该将他的能量归还娜伽卡波洛丝？”

“We pulled him from the water, as you commanded,” the Hierophant smiled, adjusting the jade collar of her office. “Perhaps it would have been better to let his energy return to Nagakabouros?”

“任何人都无权审判灵魂。”

“You do not judge souls.”

“是的，真者。而娜伽卡波洛丝有权审判。”唤蛇者话里有话，提醒俄洛伊她的看法有失偏颇。

“Of course Truth Bearer, it is for Nagakabouros to judge,” he said, implying that Illaoi’s opinion was biased.

俄洛伊从两位圣职员中间穿过，两人似乎瞬间变矮了。即使是按照海岛居民的标准，这位真者依然算是高个子。她一直以来都比身边的人高大，甚至超过最魁梧的北方人。从她很小的时候开始，她就知道自己的与众不同，总是感觉自己会不小心撞到别人，但她最后明白了。我走路的时候，他们应该学会别挡我的路。

Illaoi walked between the two clerics, dwarfing the pair of them. Even for an islander, the Truth Bearer was tall. It had always been so. She was taller even than the largest Northman. As a girl, she had been self-conscious about it, always feeling like she was stumbling into people, but she had learned. When I move, they should know enough to get out of my way.

她把“神悉”从架子上取了下来。这尊金色神像的尺寸比一只酒桶稍大，重量却超出好多倍。她的手指感觉得到冰冷刺骨的金属质感。神像被摆放在一团熊熊烈火旁边，火焰照亮了整个房间，但“神悉”摸上去却永远都冰冷湿润。俄洛伊轻巧地将沉重的神像扛在肩上。十多年来，这位真人从未离开神像超过两步以上的距离。

She lifted the Eye of God from its stand. The golden idol was larger than a wine barrel and many times the weight. Her fingers tingled against its cold metal. It had been placed next to the giant roaring fire, which illuminated the room, but the Eye of God stayed forever cool and damp to the touch. Illaoi deftly shouldered its massive weight. In a dozen years, the Truth Bearer had never been more than two strides from it.

“说法使，我没有忘记自己的职责，”俄洛伊一边说一边向楼下走。“我们不会撤退到芭茹。我会在这里阻止蚀魂夜。”

“Hierophant, I remember my duties,” Illaoi said as she headed down the stairs. “We will not be retreating to Buhru. I will stop the Harrowing here.”

这位高阶祭司自从离开芭茹来到这里以后，除了抱怨以外几乎什么都没做。不过她的抱怨也并非无稽之谈。

The high priestess had done little but complain since arriving from Buhru, but there was some truth in her words.

当普朗克的船爆炸的时候，俄洛伊的心猛地抖了一下。许多年前他们二人曾彼此爱慕，而许多年前他们也已结束了这段感情……不过有些感觉始终挥之不去。她曾经爱过他……蠢货，老混蛋。

When Gangplank’s ship had exploded, Illaoi’s heart had jumped. It had been many years since they had laid together, many years since she had ended the relationship... but some feelings still lingered. She had loved him once… stupid, old bastard.

这座神庙的高墙由石料交错咬合建造而成，形状就像一只深海巨怪的巨口和利齿。神庙的入口高悬在海湾之上，可以鸟瞰蔚蓝的海水。俄洛伊阔步走下楼梯，来到正门前。她觉得自己必须先赏普朗克一记耳光；因为他总是过度自大、嗜酒如命。不过不管怎样，能够见到他总是一件好事。

Surrounded by tall walls of interlocking stones, the courtyard to the temple was shaped like the fanged mouth of a leviathan. The entrance looked over the blue waters of the bay far below. Illaoi stomped down the stairway toward the front gate. She assumed she would have to smack Gangplank in the mouth; he was prone to arrogance and rum. But still, it would be nice to see him.

然而，神庙入口处的这坨咆哮着的活物着实让她始料未及。她知道他受了伤，但不知道伤成这样。他瘸着腿，由于肋骨骨折不敢站直。一只手臂只剩下残缺的血肉，正徒劳地挥舞着。

She was unprepared for the snarling creature in her temple’s entrance. She knew he had been injured, but not like this. He was limping badly and bent over from shattered ribs. He cradled what was left of his arm.

他另一只手抡着一把手枪，疯了似地想要逼退屋里的僧人和女祭司们，完全忘记了这群人几个小时以前刚刚把他捞上岸的救命之恩。更令人无奈的是，他的手枪明显没有上膛，根本伤不了人。

He swung a pistol around the room with his other arm, in a half-mad attempt to force the monks and priestesses to back away from him; oblivious to the fact that these were the very people who had pulled his drowned body from the bay only a few hours ago. Worse, his pistol was clearly empty and completely useless.

“俄洛伊在哪？”他大声吼道。

“Where is Illaoi?” he bellowed.

“我在这，普朗克，”她答道。“你看上去像一坨屎。”

“I’m here, Gangplank,” she answered. “You look like crap.”

话音未落，他已跪倒在地。

He fell to his knees.

“是厄运小姐。一定是她。串通了那两个婊子养的。他们搞沉了我的船。”

“It was Miss Fortune. Had to be. Working with those two alley whores. They sank it.”

“我可不在乎你的船。”她说。

“I do not care about your warship,” she said.

“你总是告诉我要继续前行，回到海上。我需要一条船。”

“You were always telling me to move on, to head back out to sea. I needed a boat.”

“你只需要一支独木舟就能出海。”

“You need only a canoe for the sea.”

“这是老子的城！”他大叫起来。

“This is my town!” he screamed.

普朗克身边的僧人和女祭司被他突然的爆发惊了一下。他们惊的是普朗克居然如此愚蠢，这座神庙在他的城之前有过数千年的历史，在这里撒野本身就够不明智。然而作为一介俗人，居然对三度福佑的真者大喊大叫，而且就在她自己的神庙中？换成其他任何人，早就被砸碎膝盖扔进海里了。

The monks and priestesses surrounding Gangplank tensed at this outburst. That Gangplank was foolish enough to make such a claim while standing in a structure thousands of years older than his city, was dangerous in itself. But a paylangi shouting at the thrice-blessed Truth Bearer in her own temple? Any other man would’ve been dumped into the sea with broken knees.

“这是老子的城！”他再次吼着说。愤怒的唾沫跟着喷了出来。

“It’s my town!” he roared again. Spittle flew from his mouth in rage.

“那你想怎么样？”俄洛伊说。

“So what are you gonna do about it?” Illaoi said.

“我，我需要奥考和其他头目挺我。他们听你的……只要你开口。只要你开口，他们就会帮我。”他在她面前低下了头。

“I, I need Okao and the other chiefs’ support. They’ll listen to you... if you ask them. If you ask them, they’ll help me.” He lowered his head in front of her.

“你想怎么样？”俄洛伊提高了声调，又问了一遍。

“What are you going to do about it?” Illaoi said, raising her voice this time.

“我能怎么样？”他绝望地说。“她抢了我的船，她杀了我的人，她崩了我的胳膊。我剩下的东西，都在来这的路上交待了。”

“What can I do?” he said hopelessly. “She took my ship, she took my men, she took my arm. Anything I had left… I used to get here.”

“退下。”俄洛伊一边命令其他神职员，一边走向正门。她低头看着普朗克。上次见他还是十年以前；多年的酗酒和处心积虑夺走了他曾经的飒爽英姿。

“Leave us,” Illaoi told the other priests as she walked toward the gate. She looked down on Gangplank. It had been ten years since she’d last seen him; drink and worry had taken his dashing looks.

“我只想要这座城，但如果你不挺我……”他说着说着就没声了，因为他的目光碰撞到了俄洛伊的凝视。俄洛伊用力瞪着双眼，就像蛇母一样坚毅无情。她没有给予普朗克任何东西。娜伽卡波洛丝的祭司不能显示出任何怜悯或同情，即使这样做会让她心痛。绝望之中，船长的目光逃离了对视，看向了旁处。

“There is nothing for me but this town, and without your help…” his voice trailed off when he met her gaze. Illaoi kept her eyes as hard and unforgiving as the Kraken. She gave Gangplank nothing. The priestess of Nagakabouros could show no pity or sympathy, even if it tore at her chest. In despair, the old captain’s eyes darted away from hers.

“我可以做到，”俄洛伊说，“只要我开口，各个帮派和奥考的人都会加入你。但我为什么要这么做？”

“I could do that,” Illaoi said, “and with a word, the tribes and Okao’s gang would join you. But why should I?”

“帮我一把，妈的！你欠我的。”他像个孩子一样突然耍起脾气。

“Help me, damn it! You owe me,” he snapped like a child.

“我，欠，你，的？”俄洛伊一字一顿地反问道。

“I owe you?” Illaoi rolled the words in her mouth.

“我一直遵守着仪式。献祭从没断过。”普朗克咆哮着说。

“I keep up the rituals. I offer the sacrifices,” Gangplank snarled.

“可是显然你没有吸取教训。仪式？祭品？这些都是弱小的人与弱小的神之间的琐事。我的神要的是行动。”俄洛伊说。

“But clearly you did not learn the lesson. Rituals? Sacrifices? You speak of things for weak men and their weak gods. My god demands action,” Illaoi said.

“我为这座城受过苦，为这座城流过血。它就该属于我！”

“I suffered for this town! Bled for it. It is mine by right!”

俄洛伊知道自己必须做什么。她在普朗克开口之前就知道了。她甚至在好几年之前就知道了。

Illaoi knew what she had to do. She knew it before Gangplank had spoken. She had known years before his ship had sunk.

普朗克已经迷失了方向。这么长的时间以来，父亲的残暴在他心中深深烙下的憎恨和哀怨不断地发酵恶化。俄洛伊曾经忘记了自己的职责，因为当时她爱着他，同时也因为她离开他的时候放任他继续误入歧途。他满足于杀人、抢劫，满足于做一个真正的海盗，但却从未企望过达到自己父亲的海盗之王的高度。

Gangplank had strayed. For too long, he had festered in the hatred and self-pity his father had beaten into him. Illaoi had ignored her duty. She had ignored it because she had loved him, once, and because she had led him down this path when she left him. He had been content as a killer, a corsair, a true pirate, and never interested in his father’s title of Reaver King.

他们分手以后，他的目标就止步于成为比尔吉沃特的主人，而且为此掀起血雨腥风。

He had only set anchor in his bloody quest to become the lord of Bilgewater after they had parted ways.

俄洛伊感到自己眼眶泛湿。他已风头不在了。他无法继续前行，继续进展，继续进化。现在怎么办？现在他可能无法活着完成娜伽卡波洛丝的试炼。但是他必须接受试炼。他到这里来就是为了这个。

Illaoi felt a dampness in her eyes. His time had passed. He had been unable to move forward. To advance. To evolve. And now? Now he would not survive the Test of Nagakabouros. But he needed to be tested. He was here to be tested.

俄洛伊望着面前这位老船长。我可不可以把他打发走？相信他还有一丝力量或志向熬过这一劫？如果我打发他走，至少他还有可能活下去……

Illaoi looked at the old pirate before her. Could I send him away? Trust that he still has some sliver of strength or ambition that might see him through? If I send him away, he might live, at least…

这违背了娜伽卡波洛丝之道。这不是真者的职责。这座神庙容不得怀疑和后悔。如果她相信她的神，她就必须相信自己的直觉。如果她觉得他必须接受试炼，那么这就是神的意志。哪个笨蛋会为了一个男人而放弃一个神？

That was not the way of Nagakabouros. That was not the role of a Truth Bearer. This was not the place for doubts or second-guessing. If she trusted her god, she must trust her instincts. If she felt he had to be tested, then it was her god’s will. And what fool would choose a man over a god?

俄洛伊紧握着“神悉”的把手，将神像从肩膀上落下来。轻松的感觉重回肩头，但不知为什么，她依然能够感到肩上的重量。

Gripping the Eye of God’s handle tightly, Illaoi lowered the heavy gold icon from her shoulder. A familiar lightness replaced it, yet somehow she could still feel its weight there.

“求你了，”普朗克哀求道。“哪怕再仁慈一点吧。”

“Please,” Gangplank begged. “Show me some kindness, at least.”

“我会让你看到真相。”俄洛伊的话是在为自己鼓劲。

“I will show you the truth,” Illaoi said, steeling her will.

她一脚踢向普朗克，脚跟压扁了他的鼻子。他像醉鬼一样向后栽倒，嘴角淌出了鲜血。他翻过身，愤怒地望向她

She stomp-kicked Gangplank, her heel smashing into his nose with a crunch. He flew backward like a drunkard, blood pouring down his lip. He rolled over and looked up at her with furious eyes.

“看！”俄洛伊吟诵起来。

“BEHOLD!” Illaoi intoned.

她将自己的精神延伸出去，呼唤着蛇母的能量，将神像向前挥动。一股泛着光亮的雾气从神像的嘴里倾泻而出，蛇母的面孔周围环绕起蓝绿色的能量漩涡，能量渐渐实体化，变成了灵体触手。在黄金的映衬下，这些触手就像海面上的日出一般优美，同时也像海底最黑暗的憎恶一般可怕。神像里不断向外长出触手，似乎在以某种难以理解的数学规则增多。它们以指数倍数的速度膨胀增长，似乎每一条触手都能容得下全世界的希望和恐惧。

She reached out with her mind and called forth the energy of the Mother Serpent as she swung the giant idol forward. A glowing mist vomited from the icon’s mouth and swirls of blue-green energy formed around the Mother Serpent’s face, solidifying into ghostly tentacles. Touched by gold, these tendrils were as beautiful as the sunrise over water, and as horrifying as the darkest undersea abomination. More tentacles grew from the icon, replicating around the room as if born from some unknowable mathematics. Exponentially they grew larger, and somehow each one’s growth seemed to hold all the promise and horror of the world.

“不！”普朗克尖叫起来。不过漩涡完全不为所动，触手像风暴一样卷住了他。

“No!” Gangplank screamed. But the whirlwind ignored his cries as the storm of tentacles took him.

“直面娜伽卡波洛丝！”她大喊道。“证明你自己！”触手抓住普朗克，穿过了他的胸膛。他浑身颤抖，往昔的景象在他身边闪现。

“Face Nagakabouros!” she yelled. “Prove yourself!” The tentacles grasped at Gangplank, then dived into his chest. He shuddered as ghostly images of his past lives shook around him.

他痛苦地尖叫，感受到灵魂被从身体中抽出，而他的镜像则安然站在俄洛伊面前。普朗克的灵魂燃着耀眼的蓝色火焰，灵魂的形态不断变换闪现着众多前世的样貌。

He screamed as his soul was ripped from his body. His doppelganger stood unmoving before Illaoi. The spirit of Gangplank smoldered an almost blinding blue, its body crackling and flickering through his previous lives.

无数只庞大的触手不断地击打着这位伤痕累累的船长。普朗克翻身踉跄地站起来，尽可能低躲避袭击。但每躲过一次，就会出现更多触手。他周围的现实正在扭曲旋转。一大群触手迎面拍打过来，将他不断向下推，越推越远离自己的灵魂——越来越接近湮灭。

The mass of tentacles attacked the wounded captain. Gangplank rolled and stumbled to his feet, dodging what he could. But for each one that missed, more and more appeared. Reality twisted and churned around him. The swarm of tentacles crashed against him, pushing him down, pulling him further and further from his soul—toward oblivion.

俄洛伊不忍直视。她真的希望自己可以望向别处。见证他的离世是我的职责。他曾是一个伟大的人，但他已经失败了。宇宙需要——

Illaoi wanted to look away. More than anything, she wanted to turn her eyes. It is my duty to witness his passing. He was a great man, but he has failed. The universe demands—

普朗克站起来了。缓慢，不屈，无情，他强迫自己残破的身体站起来了。他将自己撕裂，挣脱了触手的束缚，一步一个血脚印地向前迈步，痛苦地嘶吼着。他浑身血迹，精疲力竭，最终站在了俄洛伊面前。他眼球外凸，充满了憎恨和痛苦，但同时也充满了坚定。他用最后一丝力量，走进了自己灵魂的光雾中。

Gangplank rose. Slowly, inexorably, and unrelentingly he forced his broken body to stand. He ripped himself from the mass of tentacles and advanced step by painstaking step, roaring through the agony. Bloody and exhausted, he finally stood in front of Illaoi. His eyes bulged with hate and pain, but full of purpose. With his final ounce of strength, he walked into the glowing visage of his spirit.

“我必将为王。”

“I will be king.”

风停了。触手随着一阵光消失。娜伽卡波洛丝满意了。

The wind fell still. The tentacles ruptured in bursts of light. Nagakabouros was satisfied.

“你动起来了。”俄洛伊笑着说。

“You are in motion,” Illaoi smiled.

普朗克望着自己的旧爱，二人之间的距离只有几寸。他挺直了腰板，胸膛中充满了坚毅的新鲜空气——他重新成为了那个高傲的船长。

Gangplank stood inches from his former love—glaring at her. His back arched and his chest swelled with the sweet air of resolve—he was the proud captain once more.

普朗克转身离开了俄洛伊，身上的伤痛和残疾并没有减轻一丝一毫，但他现在的步伐却有着从前的自信。

Gangplank turned and walked away from her, no less injured or limping, but his stride now held its familiar boldness.

“下次我要是再来要你帮忙，直接拒绝就行了。”普朗克吼道。

“Next time I ask for help, just say no,” Gangplank growled.

“你那只胳膊得处理一下。”俄洛伊说。

“Do something about that arm,” Illaoi said.

“很高兴见到你。”他一边说一边走出神庙，走下长长的台阶，走向大海。

“Was nice to see you,” he said as he walked out of the temple and down the long steps toward the water below.

“愚蠢的老混蛋。”她笑着说。

“Stupid old bastard,” she grinned.

僧侣和祭司们回到了前厅中，俄洛伊想起来，还有一千件事等着她。一千个小负担需要她去扛。她必须找到厄运小姐。俄洛伊觉得娜伽卡波洛丝很快就需要这位赏金猎人接受试炼了。

As the monks and hierophant returned to the antechamber, Illaoi remembered there were a thousand things she needed to do. A thousand little burdens she needed to carry. The Truth Bearer would have to meet with Sarah Fortune. Illaoi suspected Nagakabouros would soon need to test the bounty hunter.

“告诉奥考和其他帮主，要他们挺普朗克，”俄洛伊吩咐说法使。“帮他夺回这座城。”

“Tell Okao and the chiefs to support Gangplank,” Illaoi said to the hierophant. “Help him retake the city.”

“这座城现在一团糟，许多人都想要他死。他活不过今夜的，”说法使一边抱怨，一边看着受伤的船长艰难走下楼梯的身影。

“The city is in chaos, many want his head. He won’t survive the night,” the hierophant grumbled, looking at the injured captain struggling down the steps.

“他依然是合适的人选，”俄洛伊一边说，一边轻巧地将“神悉”扛在肩上。

“He is still the right man for the job,” Illaoi said as she hefted the Eye of God onto her shoulder.

我们永远都无法确认自己做的是对的，也无法得知未来如何发展，甚至不知道自己何时会死。但宇宙会赐予我们渴望，赐予我们本能。所以我们必须相信它们。

We can never be certain if we’re doing the right thing, or how things will happen, or when we will die. But the universe gives us our desires, and our instincts. So we must trust them.

她从庭院爬上楼梯走向神庙内部，神像抗在她肩上。这是沉重的负担，但俄洛伊并不介意这份重量。

She began walking up the steps from the courtyard to the inner temple, the Truth Bearer’s idol on her shoulder. It was a heavy burden—but Illaoi didn’t mind it.

她反而感觉无法割舍。

She didn’t mind at all.