摇篮曲 Lullaby

这是度日如年的一天。

It had been a weeklong sort of day.

对于艾克来说，这句话可谓言副其实。每件事都不顺心，每件事都需要耗费近乎一生的时间去弥补。首先是阿尤纳，他在爬老饿鬼的时候差点把自己害死。这孩子太崇拜艾克了，所以不顾小伙伴们的劝阻，执意要爬上地沟中心的钟塔侧壁。第一个考验技巧的坎就害得他险些丧命。多亏艾克及时发动了Z型驱动。小男孩摔死前惊恐的尖叫，艾克听了整整十八次，最后终于找到正确的手法和位置，救下了他。

For Ekko, this was both literal and metaphorical. Everything went wrong and it took forever to put it back just right. First, Ajuna had nearly gotten himself killed trying to climb Old Hungry. The younger boy wanted so desperately to be like Ekko that he vaulted up the side of the clockwork tower at the heart of the sump before any of their friends could stop him. It was the first tricky jump that nearly did the kid in. Good thing Ekko had triggered his Z-Drive. Eighteen times he heard the blood-curdling scream of the boy falling to his death before he figured out how and where to arrest the fall and save his life.

然后是在菲罗斯家族名下的某个垃圾堆里，当时他正在收集科技废品，结果被一个特别爱惹事的帮派包围了。他们个个人高马大，装备的增强体让丑人变得更丑。他们的速度让艾克倍感惊讶，他们招招夺命，这倒是在艾克意料之中。皮佬的后援并不会关心他这样的地沟孩童的死活。还好他有Z型驱动，让他能在这种无处可逃的处境中虎口脱险。经过数十次倒流，他改变了策略，掏出了自己的新玩具：禁锢闪光弹。设计的效果是爆炸时发出炫目的闪光，然后把所有能动的东西都吸到中心。

Then, while pillaging a scrap heap with ties to Clan Ferros for bits of tech, a particularly aggressive gang of vigilnauts surrounded him. Big ones, too, covered in augments that made the ugly even uglier. Ekko was surprised at their speed, but less surprised at how they shot to kill. Pilties and their backup didn’t care about the lives of sumpsnipes like him. Good thing the Z-Drive existed to get him out of seemingly inescapable encounters like that one. After a few dozen rewinds, he changed tack and pulled out his latest toy: the Flashbinder. It was meant to explode in a dazzling flash and pull anything not bolted down in toward its center.

但是这颗禁锢闪光弹并没有发挥作用。准确地说是没有发挥出预想的作用。它虽然爆炸了，但随后发生的事就有意思了。艾克也发明过其他爆炸装置，但这颗炸弹的魔法蓝焰却匪夷所思地凝滞在爆炸中途。爆炸的中心向外散射出一股股激荡的蓝色能量波，产生的碎片和能量波构成了一个魔法圆盘，以龟速旋转着。如果按照正常的爆炸速度，这些炸裂的抛射物足以致命。这个禁锢了魔法闪光的球体，到最后完全凝滞在了空中。

But the Flashbinder didn’t work. Well, at least not as intended. It exploded. And that’s when things got interesting. Unlike most of Ekko’s inventions that exploded, the blue-hot magical detonation froze in mid blast. Columns of billowing blue energy fanned out from the epicenter. Bits of the disc’s shrapnel twisted at a snail’s pace along what, at normal explosion velocity, would be a deadly trajectory. Even the spherical blinding flash itself was frozen in space.

然后发生的事更有意思。爆炸形成的球体发生了坍缩，自行重构成为原来那个手掌大小的禁锢闪光弹，然后飞回艾克的方向，不偏不倚地落在了他的手掌心，犹如一股冷风。

And then it got even more interesting. The explosion imploded, reforming itself into the palm-sized Flashbinder, and rewound back toward Ekko, landing square in his palm, as cold as the wind.

“酷”，艾克心想。他倒退了这一刻，又把这个装置向猛汉们反复投掷了几次。当然，这是出于科学验证的需要。

Cool, Ekko thought. He rewound the moment so he could throw it at the vigilnauts a few more times. For science, of course.

当艾克最终回到家的时候，他的身体已经疲惫不堪，但是他的精神依然紧绷。屋子里很简单——只有很少的几件家具，几乎没有装饰物。艾克的房间只是一个使用帘子隔开的角落，里面堆满了捡来的书籍、回收的零件，还有藏起来的Z型驱动和禁锢闪光弹。今天很难得，他的父母会同时提前回家，而他有话要和他们说。

When Ekko finally got home, his body was tired, but his mind was alert. The apartment was functional – the furniture sparse and with little flourish. Ekko’s room was a little curtained-off nook filled with discarded books, bits of scavenged technology, and hiding spots for the Z-Drive and Flashbinder. Today was one of the rare days both his parents would be home early, and he had something to tell them.

“妈，爸。”他对着倒影练习自己准备好的对白，他的倒影正在隔着Z型驱动的圆柱体表面与他对视。“我不要申请上面的家族，也不要申请装模作样的皮佬学校。我就要呆在这里陪你们，还有朋友们。我永远都不会抛下祖安。”

“Mom, Dad.” He practiced to his reflection, which stared back at him from the Z-Drive’s shiny cylindrical surface. “I’m not going to apply to any of the Uppside clans or a snooty Piltie school. I’m staying here with you and my friends. I’ll never turn my back on Zaun.”

他的话中充满了自信。因为空荡荡的公寓里，只有墙壁和倒影在回应他的话。而它们的回应是沉默。

The words were filled with the confidence that comes with being alone in an empty apartment, with only walls and reflections to respond. And their response was silence.

他听到了钥匙清脆的碰撞声，只有一门之隔。一秒都不能浪费，艾克将Z型驱动藏到了桌子底下，用一块黑布盖住。他不想让他们为自己担心，毕竟他是在用一部不稳定的海克斯科技时光控制装置搞一些不合规矩的事。

He heard the jingle of the keys, muffled by the front door. Without a second to spare, Ekko tucked his Z-Drive under the table and draped a black cloth over it. He didn’t want them worrying about his escapades with an unstable hextech time-manipulation device.

门开了，艾克的父母今晚第一次回家。他们几乎已经成了自己儿子眼中的陌生人，工作让他们憔悴衰老，艾克上次同时见到他们俩以后这几周尤为明显。日常生活单调乏味。他们会拖着沉重的步伐回到家，用当天的薪水买些简陋的饭食，省下的钱用来缴税和疏通关系，然后他们会坐在椅子上睡着，下巴抵着前胸，直到艾克帮他们脱掉靴子，扶他们上床。

The door opened and Ekko’s parents returned for the first time that night. They looked like strangers to their own son, their jobs aging them even more in the weeks since he’d seen them last together. Their routine was predictable. They’d shuffle home, supply a meager meal purchased with the day’s wages, save the rest of the money for taxes and bribes, then fall asleep in their chairs, chins resting on chests, until Ekko removed their workboots and helped them into their beds.

今天他们的眼袋似乎无比沉重，让他们低垂着头。她母亲用一只胳膊夹着一个小纸包，顶端用线绳打了结。

The bags under their eyes carried enough weight to pull their heads down. Tucked under his mother’s arm was a small paper-wrapped bundle, bound at the ends with twine.

“你好啊，我的小天才。”他的母亲强打起精神，想让自己的语气显得兴高采烈。然而当她看到自己的儿子坐在桌前等她回家时，眼中的高兴是任何人都装不出来的。

“Hello, my little genius.” His mother expended energy she couldn't afford in an attempt to make the words come alive. Yet her expression in that moment of lightness when she saw her son sitting at the table, waiting, was something no one could fake.

“妈，爸，你们回来啦。”一家三口已经太长时间没有坐在一起了。他感到有些尴尬，应该说一些更重要的话才对。

“Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.” The three of them hadn’t sat at a table as a family in such a long time. He quietly chided himself for not saying something substantial.

他的父亲绷着脸，维持着尊严，随后装出有些责备的样子，用手梳了梳儿子的莫西干头。艾克努力想要回忆起父亲还没老成眼前这样时的样子。那时他的头发还没开始凋落，那时他的额头还没那么多皱纹。

His father beamed with pride; then he mock-scowled as he brushed his fingers through his son’s mohawk. Ekko struggled to remember a time when his father didn’t look so old, before the prematurely thinning hair and the deep wrinkles in his brow.

“我应该告诉过你把头剃了吧”他父亲说。“这头型会让你在皮城的学院中太过显眼。只有工坊林才允许你这样。他们什么人都收，但你可不是普通人。你的学校申请怎么样了？”

“I thought I told you to cut that hair,” his father said. “It’ll make you stand out in the Piltover academies too much. The Factorywood’s the only place you can look like that. They’ll take anyone. And you are not anyone. How are your applications coming?”

等的就是这一刻。艾克觉得刚才练习的对白已经到了嘴边。但父亲眼中的希望让他无法开口。

This was the moment. Ekko felt the words he’d practiced swimming up to be spoken. The hope in his father’s eyes gave him pause.

他的母亲抢在他前面打破了安静。

His mother filled that empty moment before Ekko could.

“我们给你带了样好东西。”她说着将小纸包放在了桌子上。他们挪近了椅子，充满期待地看着艾克伸出手，小心翼翼地解开绳结，将两根线绳平整地铺在旁边。然后又慢慢展开油纸，没有撕出一道裂痕。油纸中间是一块香飘四溢的甜面包，油汪汪的脆皮上涂了蜂蜜，撒了琥珀果仁。这块糕点肯定是从伊莱恩家里买的。她的烘焙是全祖安最上等的，售价也同样上等。艾克和他的伙伴们经常从富人手里偷到她家的甜点，这些人付钱的时候眼睛都不眨一下。

“We have a treat for you.” She set the brown parcel down on the table. They pulled their chairs close to watch as Ekko reached over and untied the knotted twine, straightened both strings, and laid them next to him. He unraveled the butcher paper without a single rip. In the center lay a small loaf of fragrant sweetbread, its crust glazed with honey and candied nuts. The cake was from Elline. She made the finest pastries in all of Zaun, and charged a pretty penny for them too. Ekko and his friends often pilfered her desserts from the rich folk who paid the hefty price without even a tiny hesitation.

艾克惊讶着抬头看向自己的父母。他们的眼中神采奕奕。“太奢侈了。”他说。“我们需要买肉，需要真正的晚餐，不需要甜点。”

Ekko’s head shot up to see his parents’ reaction. Their eyes were beaming. “This is too much,” he said. “We need meat and real supper, not sweets.”

“我们永远都不会忘记你的命名日”他的父亲微笑着说。“不过看来你自己忘了。”

“We would never forget your name day,” his father said with a chuckle. “Looks like you did, though.”

艾克完全不记得今天究竟是哪一天。不过即使是命名日礼物，这块甜点也还是太奢侈了。而且他们对他寄予的希望即将被他打破。艾克的负罪感开始在他的喉咙凝结。“如果我们再拖欠房租，房东会揪下我们的头。”

Ekko had completely lost track of what day it really was. Still, the gift was too extravagant. Especially since he was about to shatter their hopes for him. Guilt rose in his throat. “The landlord’ll have our heads if we’re late with rent again.”

“这个不用你操心。你今天应该吃点好的”他的母亲说。“来吧，拿甜点当晚餐，一年就这一次哟。”

“Let us worry about that. You deserve something nice,” his mother said. “Go on, you can have cake for dinner once a year.”

“那你们吃什么？”

“What are you going to eat?”

“我不饿。”她说。

“I’m not hungry,” she said.

“我在班上吃的”他父亲的谎言有更多细节。“奶酪和肉，皮城货。好东西。”他们看着艾克用舌尖抵着蛋糕轻轻咬了一口。嘴里洋溢出蜂蜜和奶油的甜腻，富糖的碎屑黏在他的指尖。食材丰腴、味道浓厚，在他的口中悠远绵长。艾克将蛋糕切成了三分，但他的母亲摇了摇头。她轻柔地哼唱起命名日歌，他知道他们不会分享这块蛋糕。这是父母给他的礼物。

“I ate at work,” his father lied. “Cheese and meats from Piltover. Real nice stuff.”

他的父亲原本也应该一起合唱命名日歌的，不过他已经睡着了，堆坐在椅子里，下巴抵着前胸。艾克看了看他的母亲，她的眼皮也开始打架，口中的旋律渐渐变成了微弱的鼾声。

They watched Ekko take a tiny bite of the cake. It was sweet and buttery and the crumbs stuck to his fingers. It was so rich, the taste stuck to his tongue. Ekko went to divide the cake into three pieces, but his mother shook her head. Her soft voice hummed the name day song’s playful melody and he knew they wouldn’t partake. It was his parents’ gift to him.

艾克大致设想过一个未来，他设想自己继续过着工坊林的生活，挣着勉强过活的薪水，造福另一个城市，成就别人的荣光。现在他无法咽下这个想法。他回忆起婴儿时期听到过的只言片语，他的父母希梦想着发明创造，进入家族效力。他们希望改变世界，贡献未来，而他们的一切梦想和希望都因为儿子的出生而被改写。艾克知道，现在他成为了他们唯一的希望。但他热爱着祖安的生活。如果他遵照了他们的希望，那么谁来照顾他们，谁来照顾他的朋友们？

His father would have joined in singing the name day song if he hadn’t already fallen asleep, slumped in his chair, chin dropping to his chest. Ekko glanced over to his mother, her eyes fluttered closed as the melody was swallowed by her own encroaching slumber.

他不能击碎他们的梦想。不是今晚，不能在命名日这天。明天再说吧。艾克咬了第一口以后就再也没动那块蛋糕。相反，他发动了Z型驱动，他的家变成了彩色尘埃的漩涡。平日的单调节奏戛然而止。这一瞬间分裂成无数碎片，将他笼罩在光芒的漩涡之中。随着未来的残片渐渐组组合成为了过去，艾克的父母今晚第二次回到了家。接下来还会有第三次，第四次，第五次，第六次，更多次。

One future Ekko briefly considered was the Factorywood life and barely living wages for some other city’s benefit, for someone else’s glory. He couldn’t stomach the thought. He remembered fragments of conversations, snippets heard through the filter of infant ears, of his parents’ whispered dreams of inventions, and entrance to the clans. Ideas they hoped would change the world and contribute to a future unwritten by the birth of their son. Ekko knew they saw him as their only hope. But he loved life in Zaun. If he did as they wished, who would take care of them or his friends?

每一次回溯，艾克都没做出任何改变；母亲眼神中满载的期待，父亲低头睡着时自豪的微笑。但是艾克却抵挡着困倦，一遍遍地品味着这些偷来的瞬间，无休无止，直到最后他陷入母亲温柔的声音中，浸在小家的温馨里，伴着这无言的催眠曲，渐渐睡去。

He couldn’t dash their dreams. Not tonight, on his name day. Maybe tomorrow.

这是度日如年的一天。

Ekko didn’t finish his cake beyond the first bite. Instead he primed his Z-Drive. His home shattered into swirling eddies of colored dust. The thrum of the everyday fell to absolute silence. The moment splintered and encircled him in a vortex of light.

When the fragments of the future reassembled into the past, Ekko’s parents were coming home for the second time that night. It would be followed by a third, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth, and so on.

Each time he went back, Ekko didn’t change a single thing; the light in his mother’s eyes, his father’s proud smile as he nodded off. But Ekko fought the edges of sleep to hold onto those stolen moments forever, until finally, he let his mother’s soft voice, and the warmth of their little apartment lull him to sleep.

It had been a weeklong sort of day.