鏖战，创伤 In Battle, Broken

作者：L J Goulding

至高教廷愚蠢地认为，星灵的行为是为了惠及巨神峰或它的居民。

To assume the Aspects act in the interests of Targon or its people is folly of the highest order.

当初拉阔尔先民攀登巨山，为的只是让自己更加靠近神圣的太阳，那是他们心目中的圣洁源泉，是世上一切光明与伟岸的本源。但当他们登上顶峰，发现的却是一群不属于这个世界的奇异生命体，正在那里等候他们的到来。

When the first Rakkor climbed the Great Mountain, they did so to bring themselves closer to their holy sun, the divine source of all light and majesty in this world. But when they reached the summit, they found strange, otherworldly beings waiting there for them.

并不是神。山顶没有神，更高处的天空也没有。星灵从未自称为神，拉阔尔人也从未尊其为神。纵使他们具有百般神力，从天界领域落入苍穹之下，但他们要想穿过最后的帷幕踏入符文之地，却仍旧需要借助外力。而为了得到这样的外力相助，他们将不惜一切代价，甚至会蓄意利用我们最恶劣的本性，甚至不惜背叛那金色的太阳。

Not gods. There are no gods on the mountain, nor above it. The Aspects have never claimed this, and the Rakkor have never considered them as such. In spite of all their heavenly power, they had descended from the firmament of the celestial realm, yet were still unable to cross over into Runeterra unaided—and this was something for which they would be willing to bargain most dearly. Enough to use our own worst natures against us. Enough to betray the golden sun itself.

直到今天，星灵仍然在不择手段地操控这个不属于他们的世界，以达到某种我们无法完全理解的目的，所跨越的时间维度足以藐视任何凡人的野望。

To this day, the Aspects strive to manipulate a world that is not theirs, for reasons we cannot fully comprehend, on a timescale that mocks even the grandest of mortal ambitions.

然而，我们可以确定的是，他们的动机之中没有人性，他们的残忍与奸诈超越了所有的存在。

However, we can be certain that their motivations are not human, and their capacity for cruelty and deception is unmatched in all existence.

——摘自“末轮太阳部落”，作者：海力亚高僧玛尔古萨

经过一天的劳作，伊乌拉在围裙上蹭了蹭僵冷的双手，将一个杯子举向壁炉的上沿。

— from ‘Tribe of the Last Sun’, by the Hierarch Malgurza of Helia

“这杯敬你，我的挚爱。”她悄声说完，把杯子贴到唇前。

甘甜的暖流涌入。是秋日夕阳的最后一道余晖。

她品味了片刻，让味道停留在上颚，用鼻孔缓缓呼气。然后她低头看向杯中，那金色的液体随着杯子摇晃。

“怎么样？”汉妮一边问，一边用后背抵住农舍的门，用力关上。

伊乌拉耸耸肩，“还成。再酿一段时间可能会更好些。”

那个年轻的女子把两大袋稻谷撂到厨房案台旁边，给自己倒了一杯。伊乌拉看着她嗅了嗅气味，然后痛饮了一大口。

紧接着汉妮突然一阵呛咳，用力挤了一下眼睛，两下。

三下。

Weary from the day’s labors, Iula wiped her stiff hands upon her apron, and raised a cup to the mantel.

“尝起来……尝起来真呛嗓子……”她费力地说，“蜜酒……全都这么呛吗？”

“Here’s to you, my love,” she whispered, before bringing it to her lips.

伊乌拉露出微笑，用手指梳了一把房梁上悬垂下来的草药。“不，不全是。取决于配料。为了酿出传统的蜜杜，我希望鼠猬草的味道浓郁一点。或许下次咱要再多加点。而且要用鲜的，不用干的。”

A flood of sweetness. Warmth. The last rays of an autumnal sunset.

“不过，我们还能带到集市上卖吗？陈酿的时间足够吗？”

She measured the taste for a moment, letting it sit on her palate, breathing out slowly through her nose. Then she looked down into her drink and gently swirled the golden liquid around.

“没关系。在封口之前，我们可以给每坛酒都加些蜂蜜补甜。”

“How is it?” Hanne asked, as she heaved the farmhouse door closed behind her.

汉妮干了杯里的酒，几乎没再挤眼睛，随后把杯子放下。“我记得在仓房里还有最后一个蜂窝。”她说，“我去取来。”

Iula shrugged. “It’s fine. Maybe it will age into something better.”

“不急。今晚不忙这个。我得在睡觉前把酸面团准备好。”

The younger woman set down two large sacks of grain on the floor beside the kitchen table, and poured a cup for herself. Iula watched her sniff it, and take a long swig.

“不麻烦！”汉妮执意要去。“我去去就回，然后给这个小家伙做晚饭。”

Then Hanne coughed, and blinked hard, twice.

小汤米斯依然坐在餐桌前，两脚荡来荡去。虽然已经忙碌了一整天，但他依然毫无倦意，瞪圆了双眼盯着伊乌拉手里的杯子。

A third time.

“我能喝点吗？”汉妮前脚刚走，他就开口问道。

“You can... You can really taste the smoke...” she managed. “Is mead always... like this?”

伊乌拉装模作样地转过身，摆出疑惑的表情问他，“你说的是这锅浓汤吗？这是汉妮给咱们所有人做的。”她用酒杯指了指灶台。

Iula smiled, running her fingers through the bunches of herbs hanging from the roof beams. “No, not always. Depends what you put in. For a traditional medu, I hoped the hedge-sage would come through a little stronger. Maybe next time we’ll use more. And fresh, not dried.”

汤米斯摇摇头说，“不，我说的是蜜杜。”

“Are we still taking it to the market, though? Will it be ready by then?”

“这个嘛，这个不是你该喝的，你觉得呢？”说着，她跨过条凳，坐到他身边，膝盖和手肘咯咯作响——她的膝盖和手肘总是咯咯作响，所以几年前就不再发牢骚了。

“It’s fine. We can backsweeten each jar with a little more honey, before I seal them.”

她把大玻璃罐子挪到他旁边。

Hanne finished her cup with only the slightest hint of a grimace, before setting it down. “I think I saw one last honeycomb in the storehouse,” she said. “I’ll bring it in.”

“泡一壶上好的太阳茶，如何？这难道不比蜜酒好喝吗？我们焙茶花了一整天，你可是帮了大忙的！我一直都想尝尝呢。”

“There’s no rush. I’m not doing it tonight. Need to start on the sourdough before bed.”

汤米斯皱皱鼻子撒娇道，“我已经不喜欢太阳茶了。”

“It’s no trouble!” Hanne insisted. “I’ll go now, before I get this young man his supper.”

“这话可别乱说！太阳茶对于拉阔尔少年是很特殊的饮品。它能让你从头到脚充盈着太阳的祝福。你难道要拒绝吗？”

Little Tomis was still seated at the table, swinging his bare feet back and forth. Even though the day had been long, his eyes were still keen... and very much fixed on the drink in Iula’s hand.

男孩默不作声，一动不动。他的目光落到桌面上。

“Can I have some?” he asked, the moment Hanne was gone.

“那你为什么把酒藏在暗处呢？”他嘟囔着，颇有些怨气，“拒绝太阳意味着它不好吗？”

Iula made a show of turning to face him with an expression of mock-confusion. “You mean this lovely stew that Hanne has made for us all?” she said, gesturing to the fireplace with her cup.

伊乌拉突然担心自己言多有失。“不是的，”她笑着用一只手搂住他，“不是它不好。它很好。我亲爱的丈夫教会了我如何酿蜜酒，那是我们新婚的时候。蜜酒需要在暗处存放一段时间，为的是……嗯……让它变得……更……”

Tomis shook his head. “No. The medu.”

随后她放弃了，她不想对一个四岁小孩解释发酵的原理，于是她调皮地戳了戳他的鼻子。

“Well, I don’t think that’s a good idea, is it?” she replied, stepping over the bench to sit next to him. Her knees and elbows creaked as she went—but her knees and elbows always creaked, so she had given up remarking on it years ago.

“是这样，孩子，对大人来说，有些好事只能在黑暗中进行，知道吗？等到有一天，等你长高了长大了，你就明白了。那个时候你就可以喝蜜酒了！不过现在，咱俩都喝太阳茶！你愿不愿意看在我腿脚不利索的份上，帮我拿两个干净杯子来？”

She tapped the large glass jar next to him.

汤米斯咯咯地笑着，跑向碗架。伊乌拉看着他跑远，麻利地一口咽下剩余的酒，这时农舍的门开了。

“What about your fine batch of sun tea, eh? Wouldn’t you rather have some of that? We spent all day on it, and you’ve been very helpful! I’ve been looking forward to trying it.”

“汤米，”她忍着咳嗽说，“拿三个杯子吧。汉妮回来了，她也得——”

Tomis wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like sun tea anymore.”

“伊乌拉。”

“Oh, that’s not true! It’s a very special drink for a young Rakkor. It fills you up from top to toe with the blessings of the Sun. Don’t you want that?”

汉妮的声调让伊乌拉不寒而栗。她不假思索地站起来，走到门口贴近那个女子问道，“出什么事了？”

The boy went very quiet, and still. His eyes sank to the tabletop.

“有人来了。我感觉……好像是烈阳教派的人。”

“Then why do you put your drink in the dark?” he murmured, plaintively. “Does that mean it’s bad?”

伊乌拉费力地看向暮色笼罩的山谷，视线越过农舍门前的小院，再越过那片种满极天小麦的农田。

Iula was suddenly worried that she had gone too far. “Oh, no,” she chuckled, putting her arm around him, “it’s not bad. Not bad at all. My dear husband taught me how to make mead, when we were first married. It needs to sit in the dark for a while to... umm... to get more... sort of...”

在那里。

Then she gave up trying to explain fermentation to a four-year-old, and playfully poked his nose.

她看得很清楚，远处有一个男人的身影，疲惫憔悴的身躯披挂着金色的战甲。他还缓缓穿行在庄稼地里，可他要去那儿已经显而易见。伊乌拉的家偏僻冷清，与世隔绝，即使是最近的人家也要往北走好几个小时才能到。

“Look, my boy, some of the best things that grown-ups enjoy happen in the dark, all right? One day, when you’re older and taller, you’ll understand that. And then you can have a sip of mead! But for now, it’s sun tea for us both! Can you spare my tired old feet, and bring me two clean cups?”

她叹了口气，暗下决心，随后迈步走进前院。

Tomis giggled, and scurried away to the pantry. Iula watched him go, before craftily gulping down the last of her drink, just as the farmhouse door opened.

“你好，朋友。”她呼喊道，“愿太阳的光辉将你照亮。愿你已悉数迈过这一路上的坎坷。”

“Actually, Tam,” she spluttered, “bring three. Hanne’s back, and she’ll want—”

那个人没有回应，也没有停下脚步。

“Iula.”

伊乌拉继续说，“我能提供些饭菜和茶水，不过我很抱歉，这间小屋已不再欢迎任何战士，它只属于我和我曾经的挚爱。或许你听说过他？拉霍拉克，派拉斯。大概四十年前，他是烈阳教派里响当当的英雄。祭祀团认可他的战勋，因此也准许我在此安居。这里没有你的敌人，我可以向你保证。”

Something in Hanne’s tone chilled Iula’s blood. She was on her feet before she realized it, moving to join the girl in the open doorway. “What is it?”

那个人还是没有回应。

“There’s someone coming. I think... I think it’s a Solari.”

Iula strained her eyes into the twilight gloom of the valley, past the dusty yard of their simple homestead, and the fields of empyrean wheat beyond.

There.

True enough, she could just make out the distant, haggard form of a man clad in dulled, golden battleplate. He was moving slowly through the crop, but there could be no doubt as to his intended destination. Iula’s home was remote and secluded, the nearest neighbors several hours to the north.

She sighed, steeling her nerve, and strode into the yard.

“Greetings, friend,” she called out. “May the Sun’s light be upon you. I hope your journey through the mountains has not been too hard.”

The man did not respond, nor halt in his approach.

Iula continued. “I can offer you food and water, but I am sorry to say warriors are no longer welcome in the house that I once shared with my beloved. Perhaps you have heard of him? Pylas of the Ra’Horak. A worthy hero of the Solari, some forty years past. I have the countenance of the priesthood in recognition of his service. You will find no enemies here, I assure you.”

Still, the man did not respond.

他穿过最后一道沟渠。距离农舍只剩不到一百码。

He crossed the bottom ditch. He was now barely a hundred yards from the house.

“汉妮，”伊乌拉沉静地说，“请把我丈夫的剑拿来。”

“Hanne,” Iula said calmly, “please go get my husband’s sword.”

那名女子没有动。她瞪大了双眼看着那个不断靠近的人影。

The girl did not move. Her wide eyes were fixed on the approaching figure.

伊乌拉斜过凌厉的一眼。

Iula shot her a serious glance.

“挂在壁炉上边的剑。拿过来。快。还有把汤米斯藏好。”

“The sword hanging above the fireplace. Bring it here. Now. And make sure Tomis is hidden.”

这名战士不太对劲。随着他越走越近，她看见他身上的深蓝色披风已经被摧残得斑驳褴褛，盾牌松松垮垮地挂在身体一侧。他的长枪，握柄不仅满是凹痕，甚至还弯曲变形，枪尖在泥土中拖行，如同乞丐国王的耕犁。

There was something curious about this warrior. As he drew closer, she could see that his deep blue cloak was ragged and stained from battle, and his shield hung limply at his side. His spear, the haft pitted and bent, dragged in the dirt behind him as though it might be a beggar-king’s plow.

伊乌拉退后了一步。她不知道这个人为何而来……但如果他对这里的三个人有任何企图，她会做好反抗的准备。

Iula took a step back. She did not know why the man had come... but if he meant the three of them harm, she would be ready to fight back.

汉妮紧紧抱着那把入鞘的剑，跌跌撞撞地从房子里跑出来。她不由自主地呜咽了一声，因为她发现那名战士已经踏出田野走上最后一段小路，再往前就是院子了。他脚下一个趔趄，伊乌拉注意到他左脚穿的便鞋已经漏底，他那只脚血迹斑斑。

Hanne tumbled out of the house with the sheathed sword clutched to her chest, letting out a whimper when she saw the warrior heave himself onto the path that ran between the yard and the fields. He stumbled, and Iula noticed that his left sandal was flapping loosely from his bloodied foot.

她的心跳声在耳边轰鸣。

Her heartbeat thundered in her ears.

“……阿特瑞斯？”

“...Atreus?”

听到自己的名字，那名战士停住了。长枪从他手中滑落。

The warrior stopped at the sound of his own name. The spear slipped from his grasp.

他也摇摇欲坠。

And then he was falling.

虽然伊乌拉和汉妮都没有刻意为之，但她们都向前跨出一大步，明知赶不及也想冲上去扶一把。那是凡人见到真神放低姿态时的某种直觉反应。

Though neither of them consciously intended it, Iula and Hanne both lunged forward in a vain attempt to catch him; some instinctive, mortal reaction to seeing true divinity humbled and laid low.

当然，她们是赶不及的。

But of course, they could not.

曾经的战争星灵潘森，如今的阿特瑞斯，脸朝下摔倒在石板上，他的头盔像神庙里残破的钟，滚落到暮色中。

Atreus, once known as Pantheon and the Aspect of War, crashed face-first onto the flagstones, his helm seeming to ring like a cracked temple bell as it rolled away into the dusk.

第四天，他醒了。伊乌拉没听见他从床上爬起来，没听见他套上她和汉妮洗净晾干摆好的罩衣，也没听见他悄悄沿着积满砂石的走廊来到厨房。

On the fourth day, he awoke. Iula did not hear him climb from his bed, pulling on the freshly washed and dried tunic that she and Hanne had left out for him, nor creep down the gritty stone passageway to the kitchen.

她开始意识到他的苏醒，是因为那股绝对不会认错的焦糊味传到了她的鼻孔。

The first she knew of his recovery, at all, was when the unmistakable smell of burning reached her nostrils.

她恍恍惚惚地从简陋的吊床上下来，心咚咚地跳。

She hauled herself out of her simple cot in a daze, her heart pounding.

“汉妮！”她大喊道，“汉妮，去把汤汤叫起来！”

“Hanne!” she yelled. “Hanne, get Tam!”

她双脚踩到冰凉的地面上，根本顾不上找鞋子。撩开挂帘俯身出门时，肩膀撞到了木头门梁上，她随口咒骂了一声。

The floor was cold beneath her feet, but she did not think to look for her sandals. She threw the dividing curtain aside, cursing when her shoulder struck the wooden jamb as she passed beneath it.

走廊里在冒烟。

There was smoke in the passageway.

“汉妮！”

“Hanne!”

她捂着肩膀咧着嘴，用拳头敲打汉妮卧室外侧的石墙，一路来到厨房，这时她突然想起来，这姑娘今天早起赶集去了。伊乌拉只能独自一人处理这件事了。

Wincing, cradling her shoulder, she drummed a fist on the rough stone wall of Hanne’s small room all the way down to the kitchen, before remembering that the girl would have left for market hours earlier. Iula would have to deal with this alone.

p>她穿过走廊的拐角，突然怔住。

Then she turned the corner, and stopped abruptly.

阿特瑞斯正蹲在面包烤箱前方，对着一团小火苗发疯似的用盾牌扇风。他的双眼被烟熏得通红，手上沾着面粉和煤烟的灰浆。

Atreus was crouched before the bread oven in the fireplace, frantically fanning a small blaze with his shield. His eyes were raw from the smoke, his hands smeared with flour and soot.

他回过头看向伊乌拉。

He looked over his shoulder at Iula.

“抱歉，”他止不住地呛咳，“我……我不知道是怎么……”

“Forgive me,” he choked. “I... I don’t know what I...”

她发出一声恼怒的慨叹，从碗架上抓起一壶水。

She let out a cry of exasperation and grabbed a flagon of water from the pantry.

“给我起开，你个大呆瓜！”

“Get out of the way, you big oaf!”

火被浇灭，烤箱里冒出蒸汽。伊乌拉咳嗽着，大口地喘气，她放下水壶，腾出手来用睡衣捂住口鼻。她气冲冲地瞪着这名战士，而他则唯唯诺诺地站在房间中央。

Steam billowed from the oven as the fire was quenched. Iula coughed and wheezed, dropping the flagon so she could cover her mouth and nose with her nightsmock. She glared at the warrior standing sheepishly in the middle of the room.

“你愣着干什么呢？赶紧开门去。”她厉声说着，自己也踉跄着跑到窗边推开折叶。清晨的阳光洒进昏暗的小屋，在烟尘中犹如一根根掰不断的发光板条。

“What are you waiting for? Get the damn door open,” she snapped at him, even as she hobbled over to the window and pushed the shutters outward. The morning sun streamed into the gloom, becoming almost solid bars of light in the haze.

阿特瑞斯打开门，站在门口想了想，然后反复开合门板，把新鲜空气送进来。伊乌拉气势汹汹地瞪着他，随后在烤箱前方跪坐下来，查看损害情况。

Atreus opened the door, then thought for a moment, and started moving it back and forth to waft fresher air inside. Iula shot him a withering glare, before lowering herself to her knees in front of the oven, to inspect the damage.

“得了，这一整批全废了。”她一边嘟囔着，一边小心翼翼地从一片狼藉中捏出一块湿漉漉、黑黢黢的面包。底面的石盘遇冷发出轻微的噼啪声，一汪水掺着黑灰沿着炉栅淌到地面上。“火也灭了。我花了一整天才调整到合适的火候，你知道吗。”

“Well, that’s the whole batch ruined,” she muttered, gingerly plucking one of the sodden, blackened loaves from the mess. The stone base groaned and ticked as it cooled, with a slurry of ashes and water splattering down onto the floor beneath the open grate. “And the fire’s dead too. It took me a whole day to get it up to the right heat, you know.”

她伸出一根拇指，隔空戳点阿特瑞斯。

She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder, in Atreus’ direction.

“上次你来的时候我就说过——你永远都不可能成为面包师。放弃吧。”

“I told you last time you were here—you will never be a baker. Just give up.”

他继续用门扇风，似乎这就是全世界最重要的任务。“那个姑娘，”他喃喃地说，“她走之前说，让我看着点烤箱里的面包。”

He continued to waft with the door, as if it were the most important task in the world. “The girl,” he murmured. “She asked me to mind the bread. Before she left.”

伊乌拉拄着膝盖站起来，“你见过汉妮了？”

Iula got back to her feet with some effort. “You spoke to Hanne?”

阿特瑞斯点点头。他环顾一周想找东西顶住门，最后耸耸肩把他的盾牌靠在门边。当他重新站起来，她发现他依然不愿直视她的双眼，始终盯着二人之间的地面。

Atreus nodded. He looked around for something to prop the door open, before shrugging and using his shield. Even when he stood again, she noted that he would not look her in the eye, and kept his gaze on the floor between them.

她有种挥之不去的感觉，感觉他似乎比印象中……矮小了。或者可能是，消瘦了。从前的他，始终散发着一种固执的不屈，让盟友安心，让心怀敌意之人退避。

And she could not quite shake the sense that he looked somehow... lesser than she remembered. Diminished, perhaps. In the past, he had always radiated a kind of stubborn defiance, one that reassured his allies and unsettled those who might seek to oppose him.

现在，那种气质没了。

That was gone, now.

他用手指梳理胡子，显然是在寻找合适的话语来表达他的意思。“我想……我想用行动报答你。这些年来，你对我照顾有加。”

He ran his fingers through his beard, apparently trying to find a specific combination of words that he wanted to speak. “I wanted to... I want to find a way to repay you, Iula. For all your many kindnesses to me, over the years.”

她轻蔑地吭笑一声，“那，我们得在厨房以外的地方动脑筋，对吧。等到下一季的时候，你可以给我翻土犁地。即使是你，也不能把泥土烧着吧。我希望是不能。没准我错了。”

She scoffed. “Well, we’ll have to find something outside of the kitchen, won’t we. Maybe I’ll let you till the fields before I sow again, next season. Not even you can set mud on fire. At least, I hope not. Maybe I’m wrong.”

他脸上闪过一丝笑意，但只是一闪而过。

A glimmer of a smile crossed his features, but it was only a glimmer.

随后他的目光跳到她身后，看向走廊。

Then his gaze darted past her, to the passageway.

伊乌拉看过去，发现汤米斯正站在那里，躲在拐角后面偷看，小小的手指抓着墙沿。她抚平身上的睡袍，然后向他招手。

Iula looked to see Tomis standing there, peering around the corner, gripping the edge of the wall with his little fingers. She smoothed out her smock, and beckoned to him.

“过来，汤汤。来打个招呼。这就是我们这两天一直在救助的人。他叫阿特瑞斯——我们是老朋友了。很早以前就认识了。从他的样貌上看不出来吧？”

“Come here, Tam. Come and say hello. This is the man we’ve been helping. His name is Atreus—we’ve been friends for a long time. A very long time. Although you wouldn’t know it from looking at him, eh?”

那个男孩一动不动。阿特瑞斯也是。

The boy did not move. Neither did Atreus.

她叹了口气，费力地走过去抱起汤米斯，让他靠在她淤青的肩膀上，带着他来到厨房。“他可能是有点怕你。他已经很久没见过士兵了，自从……”话到嘴边被她咽了回去。她低头对男孩微笑，充满怜爱地把嘴唇贴在他头上吹气发出怪声。“其实，他是孤儿。这几年来高原谷地的居民遭了不少罪。”

Sighing, she trudged over and scooped Tomis up, letting him lean into her bruised shoulder as she carried him into the kitchen. “He’s a little afraid of you, I think. You’re the first soldier he’s seen, since...” The words died on her lips. She smiled down at the boy, and blew an affectionate raspberry into his hair. “Well. He’s an orphan. These past few years have not been kind to the folk of the high valleys.”

阿特瑞斯的目光在伊乌拉和汤米斯之间逡巡。

Atreus looked from Iula to Tomis, and back again.

“他不是你的孩子？”

“He is not yours?”

伊乌拉放声大笑。“你是认真的吗？我总是分不清你是不是开玩笑。”

Iula laughed. “Are you being serious? I am never quite sure with you.”

阿特瑞斯的视线又落到地上。“我……我没有……”

Atreus’ eyes fell to the floor again. “I... I don’t...”

“不是，阿特瑞斯。我可以告诉你，你眼前这个小男孩不是我的孩子。你可能还有个疑问，不，汉妮也不是我的孩子。我已经六十八岁了，我知道自己早已人老珠黄，所以别以为对我美言几句就能让我原谅你把面包烤糊。我知道你的身体几乎永不衰老，但我们这些凡人可逃脱不了。”

“No, Atreus. I can tell you this very young boy is not my son. And before you ask, no, Hanne is not my daughter either. I’m sixty-eight years old, and I know I look it, so don’t try to flatter me into forgiving you for the burned bread, either. I know you don’t ever seem to age, but the rest of us mortals bloody well do.”

然后她望向眼前这位战士，这个她熟识了几乎一辈子的人，发现了某种她从未见到过的东西。

Then she looked at the warrior standing before her, a man she had known almost all her life, and saw something she had never seen before.

他的双眼噙满了热泪。他的身体在颤抖。

His eyes were brimming with tears. He was trembling.

她向前迈出一步，但汤米斯见状在她怀里焦躁地扭动，于是她只好把他放下。“去吧，小家伙。回你房间去。我待会给你送早餐过去。”

She made to take a step toward him, but Tomis squirmed uncomfortably in her arms at the prospect, and she lowered him to the floor instead. “Go on, young man. Back to your room. I’ll bring you some breakfast shortly.”

虽然她露出宽慰的笑容，但男孩还是紧张兮兮地一步步挪出厨房。伊乌拉回头看向阿特瑞斯，他正在俯身提起水壶。

In spite of her reassuring smile, the boy still edged out of the kitchen most warily. Iula turned back to Atreus, who had stooped to pick up the flagon.

“你离开了太久，”她说着，安抚性地将手放在他的臂膀上，“我都开始怀疑——”

“You’ve been gone so long,” she said, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on his arm. “I was beginning to wond—”

阿特瑞斯对她的触碰反应剧烈，如遭雷击。

Atreus reacted to her touch as though struck by summer lightning.

“离我远点！”他怒吼着，用力向后退缩，撞倒了木头条凳，还被桌角擦破了额头。

“Get away from me!” he bellowed, recoiling with such force that he crashed over the low wooden bench, and split his forehead on the corner of the table.

伊乌拉惊讶地躲开，也差点失去平衡。

Iula started away, almost losing her balance as well.

阿特瑞斯用一只手遮住脸，努力想要站起来也冷静下来。他退回到门外的宽阔空间，蹲坐到地上，双腿的膝盖像一堵高筑的墙，把世界隔绝在外。“别碰我，别碰我，别碰我……”他悄声重复着同样的话。

Atreus covered his face with one hand, and tried to regain both his footing and his composure. He backed into the space behind the open door, and brought his knees up like a wall between him and the rest of the world. “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t touch me,” he repeated again and again, under his breath.

看到他经受着如此严重的心理创伤，伊乌拉也很难过，但她现在知道了，他刚刚遭受的打击一定不是普通的皮肉之苦。

It had pained her to see him physically broken, but Iula knew now that the wounds he must recently have suffered ran far deeper than his flesh.

眼前这一幕，眼前的潘森因而比任何事都更让她痛心。

And that, that hurt her more than anything else she could imagine.

她把双臂紧紧抱在胸前，轻声啜泣，手指攥着睡袍的衣袖，缓缓蹲下去，与他面对面席地而坐。

She folded her arms tightly across her chest, sobbing gently, grasping the fabric of her smock, and sank down to sit opposite him on the floor.

他们就这样坐了一阵子。伊乌拉沉默了许久，看着洒进窗户的阳光在灰色的地砖上慢慢移动，不去理睬关节处的风湿痛，不去在意脚底板传来的阵阵凉意。

They sat there for some time. Iula said nothing for a goodly while, watching the sunlight through the window move slowly across the gray tiles, and not thinking about the rheumatic ache in her joints, or the chill in her toes.

最后，阿特瑞斯似乎平静了一些，应该可以听进别人说的话了，于是她用袖口擦擦眼睛，清了清嗓子。

Eventually, when Atreus seemed to have calmed enough to let his head sink a little, she wiped her eyes with her sleeves and cleared her throat.

“你怎么了，老朋友？”她开口问道。

“What happened to you, old friend?” she asked.

“我不知道。其实……其实我记不清了。”

“I don’t know. I don’t... I don’t really remember.”

“你还记得哪些事？你还记得上次来我这吗？我们两个上次见面的时候？”

“What do you remember? Do you recall the last time you were here? The last time we saw each other?”

他微微蹙眉。“我记得。那是多久以前？”

He frowned a little. “I think so. How long ago was it?”

“六年前，阿特瑞斯。我已经六年没见过你了。”

“Six years, Atreus. I haven’t seen you in six years.”

她的话悬停在空中，时间比她预想的要长。她看得出，他正在根据自己的回忆计算这段时间。

Her words seemed to hang in the air longer than she had intended. She watched him attempt to process them in light of whatever it was he wanted to tell her.

“我……我应该是回到了峰顶。”他喃喃地说，“我应该是又攀登了一次神峰。”

“I... I think I went back to the peak,” he murmured. “I think I climbed the mountain again.”

伊乌拉目瞪口呆。“可是……”

Iula’s eyes widened. “But...”

“我知道。按理说是不可能的。但，就是这样。”

“I know. It shouldn’t be possible. And yet, there it is.”

这件事超出了她设想的范围。当然，有许多传奇故事，时间上可以追溯到恕瑞玛帝国之前，说有不止一个古人攀上了巨神峰之巅却没有被星灵占据，然后他们又不可思议地下山回到族人身边。他们究竟是铩羽而归还是风光凯旋，故事里经常说得不清不楚，人们一般认为那些故事只是胡乱猜测。

It was beyond anything she had ever considered. Certainly, there were legends that pre-dated even the empire of Shurima, of climbers who reached the summit of Mount Targon and yet were claimed by no Aspect, who then managed against all odds to make their way back down and return to their people; whether in shame or triumph, it was often unclear in the telling, and usually considered nothing more than fanciful allegory.

但要说哪个凡人，包括哪个星灵宿主，可能会两次登顶……

But the notion that any mortal, even an Aspect’s host, might make the climb twice...

根本没听说过。

It was unheard of.

她大笑着拍打门板，“老朋友啊，”她兴高采烈地说，“如果有谁要改写这个世界的规则，那肯定是你！”

She laughed, clapping her open palm on the floor. “My old friend,” she beamed, “if ever someone was going to rewrite the rules of the world, it would be you!”

阿特瑞斯摇摇头，伊乌拉感觉轻松气氛荡然无存。

Atreus shook his head, and Iula felt all levity fade.

“不，”他说，“不是我。”

“No,” he replied. “It wasn’t me.”

“那是谁——”

“Then who—”

“佛耶戈。”

“Viego.”

虽然她此前从未听过这个名字，但却不禁浑身寒颤。她不愿相信言语或者名字具有干涉生灵的力量。或许只是因为阿特瑞斯的语气吧，他的目光忧心忡忡、飘忽不定。

Even though she had never heard it before that moment, the name sent a shudder through her. She did not like to think that words, or names, could have power over the living. Maybe it was simply the way Atreus had spoken it, his gaze haunted and thin.

“佛耶戈。一个古代的国王，把黑雾带到了我们的土地上。我曾与他交战，但他……呃……”

“Viego. The ancient king who brought the Black Mist to our lands. I tried to fight him, but he... uhh...”

阿特瑞斯茫然地挠了挠头。

Atreus rubbed absently at his scalp.

“他操控了我，伊乌拉。我好像做出了一些很坏很坏的事。”

“He made me his puppet, Iula. I think I’ve done some terrible, terrible things.”

伊乌拉头皮发麻。她想起阿特瑞斯蹒跚地走进山谷时的狼狈，她和汉妮不敢想象是什么样的敌人锉伤了星灵的武器、磨钝了星灵的盔甲。

Iula was numb. She recalled Atreus’ disheveled state when he stumbled back into the valley, and how she and Hanne had not dared imagine what foes he must have faced to blunt the weapons and dull the armor of an Aspect.

他们之间真的能算做敌人吗？

Had they even been foes at all?

她跪坐起来，止不住地摇头，无法相信那种穷凶极恶的力量。“让你受委屈了。我知道你被潘森控制那么多年有多苦。这次一定也……哦，阿特瑞斯。你的事我很心痛，老朋友。”

She hauled herself up onto her knees, and found she could not stop shaking her head in disbelief at the injustice of it all. “I’m sorry. I know how hard it was for you to be controlled by the Pantheon, all those years ago. This must have been... Oh, Atreus. I’m so truly sorry for what has happened to you, my friend.”

慢慢地，轻轻地，她再次向他伸出手。这一次他没有退缩，但脸上聚起痛苦的哀愁。

Slowly, cautiously, she reached out to him again. This time he did not flinch, but his face creased in pained sorrow.

“哦，阿特瑞斯。”她再次哀叹着，揽他入怀，抱着他坐在厨房地面上前后摇晃。他布满伤疤的双手抓住她的衣服，把脸埋进她的胸怀——和小汤米斯刚进入这个家的时候没什么两样。

“Oh, Atreus,” she said again, and took him in her arms, rocking gently back and forth with him on the kitchen floor. He clutched at her clothing with his scarred hands, his face pressed against her chest—not so very different from young Tomis in those early days after he first came to the homestead.

伊乌拉也处于痛哭的边缘，她闭上双眼。

Close to tears herself, Iula closed her eyes.

“告诉我你需要什么，老朋友，”她轻轻说道，“只要是我能为你做的，我都在所不辞。你放心。”

“Tell me what you need, old friend,” she whispered. “Whatever I can do for you, I will. You know that.”

阿特瑞斯深吸一口气稳住自己的情绪。

Atreus took a deeper breath to steady himself.

“我需要你来告诉我，即使是放弃也没关系。”他答道。

“I need you to tell me it’s okay to give up,” he replied.

伊乌拉突然感到心凉了。“什么？”

Iula felt suddenly cold. “What?”

“这个世界上的邪恶太多了。你和我都见识过。我已经与它们战斗了太久，已经记不起从前了……可是我累了。我太累了，伊乌拉。凡人怎么可能赢过不死的国王，或者堕落的天神战士？星灵和他们的奴隶。来自精神领域的恶魔。符文之地只是他们的游乐场。我曾以为我需要做的只是不断地站起来，不管面对的是什么。但如果有一个和我一样的敌人，那单纯的忍耐就不再足够了。”

“There is too much evil in the world. You and I have both seen it. I’ve fought it for so long, I can’t remember what came before... but I’m tired. I’m so damn tired, Iula. How can mortals hope to win out against undying kings, or fallen god-warriors? The Aspects and their slaves. Demons from the spirit realm. Runeterra is becoming their playground. I thought all I needed to do was keep getting back up, no matter what. But if I can be made an enemy too, then simply being able to endure is no longer enough.”

他咬紧牙关，死死盯着她的双眼。

He gritted his teeth, and looked her dead in the eye.

“最无奈的是，我的星灵被弑杀之后残留在我体内的力量，已经不在了。佛耶戈对此心知肚明。无论我曾经和天界领域有着怎样的连接，现在都断了。我……我现在只是个普通人。所以我需要你来告诉我，忘掉这一切也没关系。你是唯一一个可以——”

“And worst of all, I’ve lost whatever power I still held after my Aspect was slain. Viego must’ve seen to that. Whatever it was that connected me to the celestial realm, it’s gone. I am... I am just a man. So I need you to tell me that it’s okay for me to leave all this behind. You’re the only person I—”

伊乌拉把他推开，颤抖着站起来。她感到气血攻心。现在她知道了，他缺少的不仅是那份不屈，那份带给她安全感的不屈。过去那么多年里，只要知道他还行走在大地上她便感到安心。

Iula pushed him away, and clambered shakily to her feet. Adrenaline surged in her veins. She saw that this wasn’t just the absence of his comforting defiance, which for so many years had made her feel safer, just knowing he was out there, somewhere in the world.

而现在他真的放弃了。

He had actually given up.

“你恬不知耻。”她喃喃地说。

“How dare you,” she murmured.

阿特瑞斯疑惑地站起身，跟她比起来魁梧壮硕。他用手背擦了一把脸。

Atreus rose, confused, towering over her. He wiped his face with the back of his forearm.

“我不明——”

“I don’t underst—”

“你恬不知耻！”伊乌拉厉声喊道，“你怎么好意思提出这样的要求？”

“How dare you!” Iula shrieked. “How can you even think to ask that?”

他不知所措，双手不自主地握紧。“我坚持不下去了。求求你。”

He faltered, his fists clenching involuntarily. “I can’t do this anymore. Please.”

她嗓子眼里泛起一股酸味。她的怒火是如此激烈、如此炽热，令她觉察不到脚底板的凉意。

A sour taste rose in the back of her throat. Her anger was so fierce, so hot, that she couldn’t feel the floor beneath her feet anymore.

“你滚吧。”她啐着唾沫说，“你滚吧，懦夫。你居然有脸对我说这种话。”

“Damn you,” she spat. “Damn you. Coward. How dare you say that to me.”

“伊乌拉，求求你，听我——”

“Iula, please, listen to—”

她一巴掌重重打在他脸上。

She slapped him, hard, across the face.

又一巴掌。

And again.

他没有躲也没有挡，只是直勾勾地看着她，瞠目结舌。他的脸上迅速泛起红印。

He did not try to defend himself, but only stared down at her, dumbfounded, his cheek reddening quickly.

伊乌拉哭不出来。她怒不可遏。“他那么爱你，阿特瑞斯！派拉斯对你的爱超过任何亲兄弟。他是我的丈夫，可他却跟你去爬那座该死的山，不顾我的哀求。他是我的，可你却把他丢在山上！”她发出痛苦的嚎哭，指甲挖进自己的小臂。“你最后拥抱了他，阿特瑞斯。他死在了你的怀里。我呢？他留给了我什么？”

Iula could not weep. She was too enraged. “He loved you, Atreus! Pylas loved you more than any brother. He was my husband, but he went with you up that accursed mountain, even though I begged him not to. He was mine, and you lost him up there!” She let out a wordless cry of pain, and dug her nails into her forearms. “You got to hold him, Atreus. You got to hold him as he died. And what did I get?”

她指了指壁炉，派拉斯的剑挂在上方。

She pointed to the mantel, where Pylas’ blade hung.

“只有一把剑。没别的了。”

“I got a sword. Nothing more.”

伊乌拉用力咬牙，仰望房梁，想象更远处的晴空。

Iula squared her jaw and looked up into the clear, open sky she imagined beyond the ceiling beams.

“我不允许你说你失去了什么，说你如何无法坚持。你没有告老还乡的一天。你没有那一天。这不是你的私事。从来都不是。我帮你是为了完成派拉斯的心愿。他走以后，我甚至也曾努力过要成为一名士兵，跟随你征战沙场。他为你而死，为的是让你成为更伟大的人，超越任何拉霍拉克族人。超越任何凡人。”

“Don’t you dare tell me about what you’ve lost, and how you can’t go on anymore. You don’t get to retire. You don’t have that option. This isn’t about you. It never has been. I helped you because that’s what Pylas would have wanted. I even tried to become a soldier and follow you on the battlefield after he was gone. He died for you, so you could become something greater than any Ra’Horak. Greater than any mortal.”

阿特瑞斯摇摇头，“可我不是那样的人。”

Atreus shook his head. “But I’m not.”

她愤愤地走到壁炉前，夺下那把剑，剑锋出鞘，一记横扫，剑尖直抵阿特瑞斯的心脏。

Exasperated, she stomped to the fireplace and snatched down the blade, wrenching it from its sheath and pressing it to Atreus’ heart in one sweeping motion.

“那我们就不需要你！那我们就让星灵发动他们想要的战争，在战争中毁灭一切！”

“Then we don’t need you! We may as well just let the Aspects have their war, and let that be the end of everything!”

烈日锤炼过的钢铁锋刃割开了他罩衣上的丝线，鲜血从他的胸前流下来。他低头看到一块血色的红斑在衣料上渐渐扩散。

The tip of the sun-tempered steel parted the threads of his tunic, and drew a trickle of blood from his breast. He looked down at the small crimson spot slowly spreading across the fabric.

然后他又抬头看向伊乌拉。

Then he looked back to Iula.

“什么战争？”他的声音显得憔悴。

“What war?” he asked, his voice sounding weak.

她更加用力握紧剑柄，这时突然意识到，眼前这个僵局不知该如何收场。

She tightened her grip on the sword, realizing only then that she did not know how she expected this to end.

“烈阳教派，他们看谁都像是异端。他们只要怀疑谁是皎月教派就格杀勿论，甚至怀疑谁包庇他们也一样。”她无法腾出持剑的双手，所以只能用下巴指了指走廊的方向，“汤米斯的村落，全都被拉霍拉克人屠杀。这，就是让星灵拥有凡人的迷信以后做出来的事。你曾经的同族兄弟迎来新的救世主以后，已经被灼目的光芒逐进黑暗。”

“The Solari, Atreus. They see heresy everywhere. And they’re not just killing anyone they suspect of being a Lunari—but anyone suspected of harboring them, too.” Unable to take a hand off the hilt, she nodded instead toward the open passageway. “Tomis’ entire settlement. The Ra’Horak butchered them. This, this is what happens when the Aspects cloak themselves in mortal superstition. Your former brethren have been driven into darkness by the blinding light of their new savior.”

阿特瑞斯似乎开始渐渐意识到了什么，就像是在努力回忆一个愈发模糊的梦。“当然还有……月之星灵，她还没有站出来引领皎月教派。”

Something like recognition flickered across Atreus’ features, as if he were trying to recall a fading dream. “And the Aspect of the Moon... Of course, she has not yet stepped forward to lead the Lunari.”

“而当她站出来以后，局势又会如何恶化？”伊乌拉的声音开始沙哑，“你曾发誓你会反抗他们，阿特瑞斯。你发誓不会让那些非人的怪物左右这个世界的命运，哪怕它们选择不作为。你的遭遇让我很伤心，真的……但我不能允许你背弃誓言。现在还不行。”

“And how much worse will it all get, once she does?” Iula hissed. “You swore that you would stand against them, Atreus. That you would not let this world’s fate be decided by such inhuman monsters, even when they choose to do nothing. I am sorry for what has happened to you, I truly am... but I cannot let you break your oath. Not now.”

阿特瑞斯缓缓地用右手握住剑刃。“日月星灵，杀死哪一个都无法结束巨神峰的冲突。就如同战争的死亡并不会产生永恒的和平。”

Atreus slowly, deliberately closed the fingers of his right hand around the sword blade. “Killing either the Aspect of Sun or Moon will not end the conflict in Targon. Just as the death of War did not lead to eternal peace.”

“住口。别给自己的欲望找理由，要对自己的责任伸出手。你刚来的时候，那个小男孩害怕至极，但当他看见你的头盔和长矛，立刻就想披挂上阵。如果你现在袖手旁观，那他仅有的未来，就是战斗并战死，就像千千万万的拉阔尔先人一样。”

“Shut up. Stop trying to justify what you want, and do what you know you should. That little boy was absolutely terrified of you when you arrived, and yet he wanted to wear your helm and pick up your spear from the moment he saw them. If you won’t act now, then that’s the only future he has—growing up to fight and die like too many Rakkor before him.”

她用足了所有耐心好言相劝

She forced as much conviction into her voice as she could muster.

“你要振作起来，阿特瑞斯。我从来都不想成为寡妇。我从来都不想继承这一切。我被迫放弃了我应有的生活和我的挚爱，所以你现在要证明你无愧于我丈夫对你的期许。你要让我们做出的牺牲变得有意义。你要阻止我们的人民被星灵彻底瓦解。”

“You need to get back up, Atreus. I didn’t want to be a widowed farmer. I didn’t want to inherit all this. I had to give up my life and my love, so now you need to prove you’re worthy of the faith my husband had in you. You need to honor the sacrifices we’ve all made. You need to stop the Aspects from destroying our people entirely.”

阿特瑞斯抓住伊乌拉的手，轻轻帮她把剑刺向更深处。他的表情坚定不移。

Atreus gripped Iula’s leading hand, gently urging her to drive the blade onward, his expression resolute.

“我做不到，”他声音颤抖着小声说，“我不够强。”

“I can’t,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I’m not strong enough.”

到此为止了。伊乌拉已无话可说。

That was it. Iula was done.

她扔下剑，把他推到一边，走向汤米斯的房间。“行吧，如果你要躺下等死，请替我向我的丈夫转达爱意。”她回头吼了最后一句，随后抱起那个惊慌的孩子，含着泪快步走出农舍。她没有回头查看阿特瑞斯是否尾随。

She threw down the sword and barged past him, heading for Tomis’ room. “Well, if you’re going to just lay down and die, please pass on my love to my husband when you see him,” she yelled over her shoulder, before scooping up the startled child and hurrying out of the farmhouse in tears. She did not look back to see if Atreus was following them.

“我们要去哪？”汤米斯问。

“Where are we going?” Tomis asked.

伊乌拉光脚走在碎石路上，被硌得直咧嘴，但并未放慢步伐。

Iula winced as her bare feet were cut raw on the stony path, but did not slow her pace.

“我们去多砍些木柴，孩子，”她挤出微笑，“我们今天要再做一次面包。”

“We’re going to cut some more firewood, my boy,” she managed to smile. “We’re going to bake bread again today.”

当他们回来时，阿特瑞斯已经走了。

When they returned, Atreus was gone.

厨房案台上规规矩矩地摆放着派拉斯的剑，已经收入鞘中，旁边还有一张手写的字条，但伊乌拉不予理睬，回身关上门。

Iula ignored the handwritten note that had been carefully placed beside Pylas’ sheathed sword on the kitchen table, and went to close the door.

她告诉自己她只是想看看汉妮有没有赶集回来，扫了一眼远方进出山谷的小路，但没有任何人的踪影。

Telling herself she was merely looking out for Hanne on her way back from market, she scanned the distant trackways that led up and out of the valley, but saw no sign of anyone.

她深深吸气让自己冷静，缓缓呼气走回到壁炉前，发出一声不适的呻吟跪坐到冰冷的烤箱前。然后，她读都不读，直接把字条团成团，塞进炉栅，哼唱起年轻时流传的歌谣，把新鲜的木柴码放到上面。

She took a deep breath to calm herself, letting it out slowly as she walked back to the fireplace, and knelt before the cold oven with a grunt of discomfort. Then, without reading it, she balled up the note and stuffed it into the grate, and began to hum an old song from her youth as she stacked fresh kindling on top.

她真心希望这不是最后一次见到这位老朋友，希望他能走出阴影，无论他选择怎样的道路。

She genuinely hoped that would not be the last time she saw her old friend; that he would find his way out of the shadows, for all their sakes, by whatever path he had chosen.

但在那一天到来之前，她要磨亮丈夫的剑，准备好面对任何来犯者。

But until then, she would sharpen her husband’s blade, and prepare to meet whatever was still to come.